The First One
by Rhinos.Vs.Unicorns
Summary: Carlos gets ditched by his friends, and so does Cat. When they run into eachother, they might have some fun. In the meanwhile, Kendall gets his eyes set on someone other than Jo.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, hey, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I wanted a BTR/Victorious fic. I wanted a Cat/Carlos fic. So I'm writing it. I honestly have no idea how long this will be. I tend to have pairings that mean nothing, so if it's not Cat/Carlos and it's not already in the show, don't count on it staying. Also, this is a shared account, so this is BandanasAreCool.**

**That being said, I hope you like this!**

**DISCLAIMER: I swear, I'm not Scott Fellows or Dan Schneider, therefore I don't own these people.**

_***~*~Page break numero uno~*~***_

"Hey, Carlos, do you have plans tonight?" Kendall asked casually.

"No, why?" Carlos asked. It was a Saturday night and the other boys all looked ready to go.

"Just wondering," Kendall shrugged as Carlos got up to go to the bathroom.

As soon as he was gone, Logan and Kendall turned to look at James.

"It's your turn," they said together.

"I can't tonight, I've got a date," James told them, fixing his hair.

"Then you have to take him with you," Logan replied.

"Dude! No!" James said, "She's wicked hot. Carlos will blow it for me."

"You have a hot date every week," Kendall told him, "and there's no way I can. It's me and Jo's six month anniversary," he held up a bunch of roses and winked.

"Aww, how adorably STUPID," James said, shaking his head. "What's your excuse? Why can't you take him?" James nodded at Logan.

"I have to study," Logan told him, "for my extra online class."

James rolled his eyes. "Fine, but don't think I won't have sex right in front of Carlos. I WILL. And he will be scarred FOREVER," James threatened.

"No you won't," Kendall said.

"Dude, I'm amazing. I have nothing to hide."

"I don't doubt that. All I'm saying is, with Carlos around, even you won't be able to get her to bed."

James glared at Kendall as Carlos came out of the bathroom.

"Come on Carlos, we're going out," he told him, grabbing his jacket.

"Woo hoo! I'll grab my helmet!"

After Carlos had his helmet, they left. James flashed Kendall and Logan a winning smile, then flipped them off, as they went out the door.

_**~*~*Now for a different group of friends!*~*~**_

"So, who gets Cat tonight?" Robbie asked.

"I hope it's not me!" Rex added.

Tori laughed. "It's Beck and Jade's turn," she told him.

"No it is NOT," Jade said.

"Yeah, it is," Andre told them.

Beck shook his head. "We're staying in tonight. Stay out of the trailer, if you know what I mean."

"Ew, gross," Andre said.

"TMI," Tori put up her hands.

Jade shrugged, "You guys asked."

"No we didn't!" they all told her.

"Whatever," she said, "but we don't get Cat tonight."

"Yes, you do," Tori said.

"You kids will just have to wait," Rex added.

Beck shook his head, "Do you really think we won't have sex just because Cat's there?"

"He's got a point," Robbie said.

"Well I can't take her," Andre said, "I have to meet with a producer."

"I have a date," Tori said. She pointed at Robbie, "You take her."

"I'm going to my grandma's," he shook his head, "I don't think she'd be very happy if I showed up all 'Oh yeah, this is my friend Cat. She'll get herself killed without me, and my friends who were supposed to take her are too busy doing it.'"

"Yeah, she already thinks you're weird enough," Rex confirmed.

"So Tori's got her?" Andre suggested.

"Good with me," Beck said, standing up.

"We'll be back later," Jade told them. Beck grabbed her ass as they walked out.

"How charming," Tori said, scrunching up her nose.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" Cat asked cluelessly striding in.

"Come on Cat," Tori grabbed her wrist and dragged Cat out of the room.

"Byyeee!" Cat called, with no idea where she was going.

_**~*~*Now back to James and Carlos!*~*~**_

"So where are we going?" Carlos asked eagerly, bouncing on his toes.

"Well I'm going to the movies with a pretty girl, and then hopefully to her place, or maybe the back of the car..." James trailed off, smiling.

"Ok?" Carlos replied, confused.

"And you," James told him, suddenly pushing Carlos up against the wall, "are going in here!" he pulled out a bandana and gagged Carlos with it, then tied his hands behind his back with another one. He pushed Carlos into a nearby supply closet.

"Be good," he flashed his shiny teeth at him before closing the door, which locked from the outside, leaving Carlos squirming inside.

_***~*~And now Tori and Cat...~*~***_

"Where are we going?" Cat asked, trailing behind Tori.

"On a date," Tori told her gently for the fifth time, trying to be nice.

"How does that work? Do I have a date too?"

"No..."

"What am I gonna do?"

Tori turned around, finally getting irritated. "Whatever you want," she told Cat, holding out some cash, "Here's twenty five bucks. Stay safe. Meet me back here in two hours. I'll text you if it'll be earlier or later."

"OK!" Cat said excitedly. She took the money and skipped off into Hollywood.

_**~*~*And they're off!*~*~**_

"Hmm hmm hmm... Oooh, shiny!" She stopped and stared at a store window. Passerby probably thought she was looking at the clothes on display, but she was looking at the window. She could see her reflection in the glass.

"Hi me!" she giggled.

She walked down a few more streets, turned a couple corners, and soon she was standing in front of a big concrete building.

"The Palm Woods," she read aloud. She shrugged and decided to go explore.

Cat had just walked down a hall and right by a supply closet door when she heard something.

"Mmmff... Hmm!" it was coming from the supply closet.

She turned around and went to see what was going on. Curious, she opened the closet door. Inside, there was a Latino boy wearing a helmet. He had a purple bandana in his mouth, and another one held his hands together behind his back.

"Mmm!" the boy called.

"Do you want me to untie you?" Cat asked, confused.

The helmet boy nodded.

Cat knelt down and untied his hands, then undid the bandana used to gag him.

"Thanks," the boy said. "What's your name?"

"Cat," she smiled. "What's yours?"

"Carlos."

"Well Carlos, I'm bored. My friend ditched me for a date."

"Mine too!" Carlos said, excited. He jumped up, "Let's go!"

"What are we gonna do?" Cat asked with a mixture of confusion and amazement.

"I hadn't gotten that far..." Carlos thought out loud.

They walked out of the supply closet, still with no idea what they were going to do.

_***~*~Now let's see what happens when Carlos and Cat hang out...~*~***_

"Ooooh! I can see my reflection in this one too!" Cat called out from across the aisle.

"Really? I can see mine in this one!"

"Can we get them?" Cat asked, already putting her spoon in her shopping basket.

"Yeah!" Carlos squealed excitedly, "Oh, this is so fun!"

"But wait... How will we pay for them? We only have twenty five dollars, and this plastic thing," She held out a credit card with the name Tori Vega printed on the front.

"You can pay with this!" Carlos exclaimed, "It's like an unlimited supply of money."

"I wonder why I'm not allowed to have one..." Cat whined.

Carlos shrugged, "I can't either. I can't have a lot of things..."

They ran around the mall, buying countless pointless little items with their "unlimited money." After awhile, they stumbled into a store with the windows all black with a bunch of hearts and swirly designs on them.

"What's this?" Carlos picked up a big pink vibrator.

"I don't know," Cat said, "but maybe if you push this button..."

"IT'S ALIVE!" Carlos screamed when it started to vibrate. He dropped the vibrator and he and Cat ran, screaming, out of the store.

Straight into the fountain.

Cat fell in first, but Carlos had been close behind, so he just jumped in.

They sat up, coughing.

"Why'd you jump in?" Cat asked, confused.

Carlos shrugged. "You were in the fountain, so I figured I should be too."

Cat giggled, "That's sweet."

Carlos smiled. He leaned in and kissed her.

They pullled away after only a second.

"Whoah," Carlos stated, amazed.

_**~*~*I'm terribly sorry that was so fluffy oh my god it wasn't gonna be that fluffy but the next part isn't fluffy i swear *hides* but OMG I AM SO SORRY*~*~**_

"I had a great time," Tori said, opening the door to her apartment. Beck, Jade, Andre, Robbie, and Trina were all in the living room.

"Me too," the guy said, leaning down to kiss her. He pushed his toungue into her mouth, pulled back, smiled at her friends, and left.

"What a TOOL," Beck said as soon as the door closed.

"Tell me about it. He's such a player," Andre said.

"What are you talking about?" Tori asked them, "He's great!"

"Great looking," Jade said. Beck gave her a look. "What? I have EYES," She defended. "Anyways," she continued, "he may be pretty and all, but that boy is going to screw you over. HIs game plan is fuck and run."

"She's right," Beck agreed, "plus he's a TOOL. How long do you think he spends on his hair?"

They all raised their eyebrows at him.

"Dude, this is natural," he told them, smoothing a hand over his hair.

"Sure it is," Jade said, lying down so her head was in his lap.

"If this was earlier, you would've been face down," he whispered to her with a wink.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Robbie said, putting down the cookie he'd been eating.

"Oh yeah, why are you guys back so early?" Tori asked.

"My parents got home early," Beck said, annoyed. "We had to finish up fast and split."

"Ok," Andre shook his head, "this conversation needs to go back to the previous subject."

"Yeah, too much information," Rex said.

"So why do you guys think he's a player?" Tori asked.

"It's in the way he kisses," Jade said, "Guy thinks he's a porn star."

Trina nodded. "I actually felt kind of dirty watching it."

She got some weird looks.

"Well, the date was great. And he and some friends are coming here for a party next Friday."

They all nodded. A party sounded good.

"Hey," Beck said "where's Cat?"

_***~*~Aaaaand back to my four favorite boys!~*~***_

"Hey," James called, walking into the apartment. Logan and Kendall were on the couch.

"Hey, you're back early," Logan said.

"Didn't take care of buisness?" Kendall asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nope. She's playing hard to get. Second time around."

"Whoah, a second date? She must be pretty great," Logan commented.

"She's wicked hot," James said. He pulled out one of those strips of pictures from the movie theater photo booth and handed it to the other two.

"Wow," Kendall said, "how do you do so good?'

James shrugged, "It's a gift."

"Please tell me you didn't just go into the photo booth because you were hoping to get it on in there," Logan gave him a harsh no-public-sex look.

"Whaaat? Noo," James rolled his eyes.

Logan looked at him harshly.

"We just made out in the photo booth. I was planning on having sex in the car," James finished with a wink.

"But you didn't get there," Kendall began in a sarcastic sad voice, "probably because Carlos was the-"

"Where's Carlos?"

James's eyes widened. "I'll just go get him, I left him, uh..." He went to get up.

"Wait, James!" Kendall said.

James turned around.

"This girl is pretty hot. What's her name?" he pointed to the pictures, which were still in his hand.

"Tori," James told him, "and we're going to a party at her place on Friday," he turned and went to go get Carlos, the other boys following behind him.

_**~*~*Who saw that coming? Tell me in the reviews!*~*~**_

"Cat!" Tori said into her phone, "Where are you? I've called you twenty two times already!"

"Umm..." Cat began, "We're in mall jail."

"We?" Tori squeaked. Everyone else looked around. They were wondering what kind of person Cat had picked up.

"Yeah, I'm with Carlos!" Cat giggled, "He's really nice." Carlos grinned.

"Stay right there, we'll be there soon," Tori said, hanging up.

"So?" Jade prompted.

"She's in mall jail. With some guy named Carlos," Tori said in a dissapointed voice.

"He's probably her drug dealer," Jade mumbled, "it would explain so much."

Beck drove Jade, Tori, and Andre down to the mall. They went to the mall jail to go get Cat.

Cat was sitting in a jail cell with a Latino boy wearing a helmet. He looked pretty harmless.

"Is this Carlos?" Tori asked Cat gently.

"Yeah," she said, "I know you told me not to talk to strangers, but I found him in a supply closet..."

"She saved me," Carlos said happily.

"Do you have anyone coming to get you?" Tori asked Carlos, worried.

"Yeah," he told her, "Kendall just said they're on the way over right now."

Tori nodded, not having any clue who that was.

"How the hell did you get in mall jail?" Jade asked.

"Well, there was the fountain," Cat began.

Carlos laughed "And then the escalator..."

"And the mannequins. And then they were all 'three strikes, you're out'"

The others just nodded. They got Cat out of mall jail, made sure Carlos would be okay, and left.

_***~*~BTR TIME!~*~***_

"Shit!" James said when they walked up to the supply closet. The door was open and there were two bandanas lying on the ground inside. "How did he get out!"

"You locked him in a SUPPLY CLOSET!" Logan said tensely.

James nodded, grabbed his bandanas, and the three went to get in the car. Logan got in the driver's seat, Kendall in the passenger seat, and they made James sit in back.

"You're WHERE?" Kendall said into his phone, "Yeah, we'll be there. Okay. Okay. OKAY. I got it. I swear. Yeah, I kn- Carlos! Ok, we're coming. BYE."

"Where is he?" Logan asked, putting the keys into the ignition.

Kendall laughed, "Mall jail."

When they got to the mall, Carlos was sitting in the little cell alone. They got him out, promised the guards they would take him straight out of the mall, and brought him out to the car.

"So, what happened?" Logan asked.

Carlos sighed. "I met this girl, and she.. she SAVED ME. And she was like a princess. Or a fairy. Or a MERMAID! She looked like the little mermaid. With legs."

"You know, when the little mermaid had legs, she was naked," James pointed out.

"I'm not sure this girl existed..." Kendall whispered, "I think he's high."

"And I kissed her..." Carlos continued.

Their eyes bugged out. Carlos didn't normally have ANY game.

"What was her name?" Logan asked him, wondering if he'd gotten a number, or if the girl existed, for that matter.

"Cat," Carlos replied dreamily. James and Kendall snickered.

"Don't even START with the pussy jokes," Logan began.

"Aww, Logie," Kendall whined.

"Just one?" James asked, holding up one finger. He wiggled it around.

Kendall laughed.

"I know what you're thinking," Logan told them, "and NO."

"I don't get it..." Carlos said.

_**~*~*Ok this chapter was like really long...*~*~**_

**A/N: So, this is my first crossover, and I really haven't been watching Victorious for that long, so I hope I did okay with the characters. Honestly, I didn't really like the way I wrote this. The other chapters will be a little more... adult, lol. I think they should be better. Tell me what you thought in the reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey there! So clearly, this only has one review *hides* but that's okay. I'm hoping it's just because it's getting over looked because it's in the crossover section, and not because this thing is hideously horrible. We shall see. And thanks to that one reviewer! And I think I got a couple favoriters too, even!**

**So, I know that last chapter was incredibly innocent and fluffy, but now we will move to some more adult stuff. Fun stuff. It's how I roll.**

**DISCLAIMER: If BTR and Victorious were mine, this would happen.**

_***~*~Hey look it's a page break!~*~***_

"James, are you almost ready to go?" Kendall called. The other three boys were waiting for him in the kitchen.

"Yup! Wait... no!" James walked out of his room, then turned on his heel and ran right back in. "Forgot one thing!" he called. Kendall rolled his eyes.

After a little digging around, James came back outside holding a little blue package. He waved it around for a second before putting it in his pocket.

"Trojans: XL," Carlos read aloud, "what's that?"

"Man's best friend," James told him.

"But I thought that was a dog?"

Logan shook his head in disbelief.

"This is a different kind of friend, Carlitos," Kendall explained.

"And THIS is why you don't have a girlfriend," James added.

They all turned and left to go to Tori Vega's party.

_**~*~*Party! Party! PAAARTYYYY!*~*~**_

"Hey!" Tori said, opening the door, "you brought... friends."

When James said he'd bring "a few friends" he meant... quite a few.

"Hi!" James greeted, giving her a quick kiss, "This is Kendall, Logan, Camille, Jo, Guitar Dude, The Jennifers, Mercedes, Jett, we don't really like him don't ask why he's here, TJ, who we don't actually know, That Kid Who Smells Like Cornchips, and-"

"CAAARLOS!" Cat screamed when she saw him. She ran up and tackled him to the ground.

"...Carlos," James finished, raising an eyebrow and pointing at where Carlos and Cat lay, confused. "You two know eachother?"

"This is Cat!" Carlos said proudly.

"Oooh, so she is real," Kendall and Logan said together, surprised.

"Pussy," Kendall muttered, snickering with James. Logan punched them both in the arm before anyone else heard them.

"Not only is she real, but she's hot!" James whispered to the other two, "How did Carlos pull that off?"

"Hey, wanna go see the tiger I colored purple? I made a cardboard box frame for it," Cat said proudly, dragging Carlos away.

"Oh, that's how," the three said. She seemed a little... slow. And naive. Perfect for Carlos.

"Come on in!" Tori said. "I thought you were only bringing a few of your best friends!" she hissed to James.

"These are my best friends!"

"You said you didn't like that guy, don't know that guy, and you don't even know That Kid Who Smells Like Cornchips' name!"

"Ok, I was gonna bring only Kendall, Logan, and Carlos, but of course then Kendall and Logan would bring Jo and Camille, and the only time the Jennifers will speak to us is if we bring them somewhere, and Guitar Dude always brings the weed and booze-"

"Weed and booze?" she cut him off.

"Well yeah," James said, "your parents aren't home, are they?"

"No..."

"Okay. As I was saying, That Kid Who Smells Like Cornchips is just always THERE, so it'd be weird without him, Mercedes showed up and if we told her she couldn't come we'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble with her dad, and Jett annoys Kendall in everything he does, so sometimes it's kind of fun to have him around. And TJ has no friends, so we're including him."

"Okay," Tori said, nodding carefully, "you promise things won't get out of hand?"

"Please," James said, batting at the air and rolling his eyes, "you don't know these guys. Things NEVER get out of hand."

_***~*~Possibly the biggest lie ever told, I think.~*~***_

"I wanna play a game!" Cat said happily.

"Less' play truth or dare," Kendall suggested, already starting to slur his words. Soon enough, they were all sitting around in a circle. James got his phone out and clicked on the Truth or Dare app. Automatically, he chose 18+.

"Alright," he said, entering everybody's name into the phone, "let's play."

"Tori!" he said, reading the first name to come up on the screen, "Truth or Dare."

"Dare," she said.

"Kiss the nearest person of the opposite sex," he read aloud. He smiled and they kissed.

"Okay, that was too easy. NEXT," he clicked the button again.

"Cat, Truth or Dare."

"Dare!"

"Okay," James smiled, "point to the person of your choice..."

She pointed at Carlos. James grinned wider.

"Carlos, say a color..."

"Green!"

James's face fell, "Well, it doesn't matter now. It was gonna be take off an item of clothing that color and give it to the person who said the color, but she's not-" James stopped and watched, with the rest of the people in the room, in disbelief as Cat stood up, reached under her skirt, pulled out a lime green thong, and gave it to Carlos. She sat back down with her legs folded together.

"Cat!" Tori scolded.

"What? I did what the dare said..."

"Since when do you wear a thong?" Tori asked her.

Cat shrugged. "It's a pretty color..."

James continued grinning. "This game is going well."

"What to I do with this?" Carlos asked, holding up the thong.

"Put it in your pocket," James said to him, "it'll help you remember this night."

Carlos shrugged and did as he was told. Tori hit James on the arm.

"Why are you discouraging them?" James asked.

"It's called RESPONSIBILITY," Logan responded for her.

"You should try it sometime dude," Kendall said.

"Oh shut up and just go smoke your weed."

Kendall shrugged and did as he was told.

The truths and dares continued. Most people chose dare. There was grinding, kissing, Seven Minutes in Heaven, eating whipped cream off of other people, getting high, the list went on. Things did get a little interesting when the app chose James, again.

"Hey! It chose me again!" James said happilly. Tori took his phone from him. He wasn't allowed to do his own.

"Truth or Dare?"

He paused. He had already done a lot of dares. "Truth," he decided.

"How many people of the same sex have you kissed?"

James paused, looking up to think about it. "Four," he stated.

"Four?" everyone else chorused.

"Do tell," Jett said.

"Hmm... Well, at my first big party in Hollywood, some dude came up to me, and he was all over me. I know, who can blame him. Anyways, he ended up kissing me and I was a little freaked out cuz the dude was like, 27 or something. And then another time, I got reeeaaally drunk, and Guitar Dude was totally high, and we kissed. But I'm not sure it counts. I thought he was a girl, and I think he thought I was a giant shroom..."

"What?" Guitar Dude said, looking up.

"Nothing!" James called, "Go back to your guitar and weed and random groupies!"

Guitar Dude shrugged and obeyed.

"As I was saying, there was also this time back in Minnesota, do you guys remember Joey? The really big one? From hockey?" he said to Logan, Kendall, and Carlos. They nodded. "Well he one day, he told me he was gay, and he kissed me, because for some reason, he thought I was too," James said, touching his hair.

"He was gay?" the other three said in disbelief.

James nodded, "Not a straight bone in his body."

"I always got the feeling I was being stared at in the locker room and the showers..." Logan observed.

James nodded, "You were. He liked you. Thought you were really cute."

"Cola up my nose," Logan sputtered, coughing on the soda he'd been drinking. It was weird finding out now that the giant hockey player had liked him.

"Who was the other?" TJ asked, hanging on to every word.

"Well, there was this one time with-"

"Okay!" Kendall cut him off, "You kissed four dudes. I will take your word for it. Come on, I'm getting bored. Let's do another turn!"

James agreed and snatched the phone away from Tori.

"Jade!" he said.

"What?" she barked angrily.

"Is she always like this?" James muttered to Tori, "I mean last week she gave me a dirty look and I thought it was PMS, but..."

"No, this is just her," Tori said laughing.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Jade repeated.

"Truth or Dare?" James asked quietly.

"Dare," she said, rolling her eyes.

James grinned again, the way he did any time the dare was extra good.

"Give a lapdance to the nearest guy," he began. Beck smiled.

"...to your left."

Beck's face fell. He was sitting on Jade's right. On Jade's left was Jo, and then Kendall.

Kendall, who was pretty high at this point, raised his eyebrows happily, smug bastard that he was. Jo crossed her arms, jaw set tight.

"For how long?" Jade asked, already making her way over to Kendall.

"It doesn't say," James told her, "I think the people should decide."

After a few minutes of people calling out random numbers, they agreed on the duration of whatever the next song to come on was. It was Hey Baby by Pitbull.

"This totally fits," James snickered, watching eagerly as Jade ground on Kendall's lap, leaning forward as he put his hands on her hips.

Tori looked a little less than pleased.

"We told you so..." Andre said to her.

"Oh shut up!" Tori said.

_**~*~*No party is complete without some bitchfighting!*~*~**_

Jade came into the kitchen to grab a drink. Jo stood there, waiting for her.

"What's up your ass?" she asked.

"I don't appreciate seeing you all over my boyfriend like that," Jo told her harshly.

"That? It was a _dare._"

"I know, but ever since, you've been eyeing him like crazy."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Look honey, I hate to break it to you, but there is no reason I'd ever want your boyfriend. Mine is WAY hotter."

"Who, that Puerto Rican guy?"

"He's LEBANESE."

"Whatever, Kendall's hotter."

"Are you kidding me? He's such a white boy. And those EYEBROWS. Then again, you got some goin' too. You guys are like brother and sister."

"What? You have GOT to be kidding me."

"Ladies, ladies," Beck said as he and Kendall walked up. He grabbed a sip of Jade's beer. "What is going on?"

"Jo here thinks Kendall is hotter than you," Jade explained.

"Whaat? As if that's even a QUESTION." the two guys said at the same time.

"Are you serious?" Beck asked, "You think you're hotter than me?"

"I KNOW I'm hotter than you," Kendall said.

"And I am way better looking than all of you," Jett added, walking by.

Kendall shook his head.

"You are NOT hotter than me," Beck said.

"You wanna bet?"

"What the fuck is the problem over here?" James asked, coming over between the two couples.

"Beck thinks he's hotter than Kendall," Jo said.

"You mean Kendall thinks he's hotter than Beck," Jade corrected.

James took a sip of his beer, "Beck's hotter," he said decisively. Jade and Beck high-fived casually, without looking up.

"Sorry bro," he added, turning to Kendall. He mouthed the word 'eyebrows' while tracing over his own eyebrows and walked away.

"UNBELIEVABLE!" Kendall said.

"Either way, I'd appreciate if you WEREN'T all over Kendall," Jo said to Jade, putting an arm around Kendall's waist.

"WHAT?" both guys asked.

"You haven't noticed?" Jo said to Beck, "Your little girlfriend here has been trying to seduce Kendall all night."

"That is NOT true," Jade said, "Besides," she added, "if I really wanted to seduce your boyfriend, I could do it in a snap," she snapped her fingers in front of Jo's face, who blinked and flinched.

"Are you kidding me? I could have your boyfriend in bed in a heartbeat if I wanted to," Jo said back at her.

"What?" Beck said, "Please, Jade could totally outseduce you."

"No way," Kendall told him, "Jo would have you BEGGING before you even noticed."

"Do we make this a bet?" Jade asked.

"I think so," Jo retorted.

"Fine," Beck said, "each girl tries to seduce the other's guy. Whoever gets turned on first, that couple loses."

"It's a bet," Jo said with a fake pleasant smile.

"I say Beck and Jade win," James said, walking up again.

"Dude! You're supposed to be on my side!" Kendall said.

"Yeah, but you would get horny from a rock. Jade's hot. This'll be a snap."

"UnbeLIEVEable!" Kendall exclaimed again.

"You know, maybe that guy's not so bad," Beck whispered to Jade.

"And he smells amazing," she replied.

"Dammit!" Kendall said.

"What?" the others asked, confused.

"It's Old Spice. We had a bet. He said people would like it, I said they wouldn't notice. You're the fourth person to comment so far."

"Fifth," James said, walking up, "Cat just smelled me."

"How do you always know what we're talking about?" Kendall asked, amazed.

James shrugged, "It's a gift."

_***~*~Who caught the reference back up there?~*~***_

Jade reached up behind her, grabbing Kendall by the back of his neck. She ground into him more. Poor Kendall was having a hard time holding it together. She turned around to face him, leaning into him really close.

"You into this yet?" she whispered into his ear. She kissed him on the cheek and wrapped both arms around his neck. She'd have him soon.

Jo watched, in disbelief, as Kendall had an obvious silent battle with himself. While she was busy batting eyelashes at Beck and sitting in his lap, Jade was clearly about to win the bet.

Jade kissed his jawline, slowly moving over to his lips. As soon as she got to them, however, she pulled away. He grabbed her waist, wanting to pull her back. She could clearly feel he had a boner.

"I got a winner!" she called out happily, ready to leave. Kendall, however, had other plans. He pulled her back to him.

"Hey, why do you have to go so soon?" he whispered, grinding down with her.

"Please," she went to get away, but he pushed her up against the wall.

"Come on, you know you want to," he leaned in really close to her face.

"EhhHEM," Jo said loudly from behind them. Kendall turned around quickly, which Jade took as an oppurtunity to slip out.

"Well, we clearly won this bet," Beck said, putting an arm around Jade.

Jo just glared at Kendall.

_**~*~*TADAA!*~*~**_

**A/N: Sooo, whatcha think? Should we get some Jade/Kendall going here? Should Jo dump Kendall? I don't really know where to go next with these four... tell me in the reviews!**

**And yeah, I know this chapter didn't have much Carlos/Cat. Believe me, the next chapter will have PLENTY.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey yall! Thanks for reviewing and such! Now, let's get to this story. And sorry this took so long, I've been hella busy.**

**DISCLAIMER: Ok, let's play connect the dots. I don't have a dick, so I'm not a guy, so I can't be Scott Fellows or Dan Schneider so...**

**BAM! I don't own BTR or Victorious! WHADDAYA KNOW**

_***~*~Page brrrrrreak!~*~***_

"No you hang up first," Cat said, giggling.

"No way," Carlos shook his head.

"Pleaseee Carlos?" she begged.

"No! You have to hang up first."

"But I don't want to hang up."

"Neither do I."

"But you're supposed to be a gentleman and hang up!"

"But I'm supposed to be a gentleman and let you hang up first!"

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Kendall yelled, "You're in the same room!" He got up from where he was sitting in the kitchen, snatched Carlos's phone out of his hand, and hung up.

Carlos and Cat were sitting across from eachother at the kitchen table.

"Jeez, you're grumpy," Carlos commented. Cat laughed.

"Do you have to laugh at EVERYTHING he says?" Kendall asked angrily.

James came out of his room and put a hand on Kendall's shoulder, "He's just got a little sexual frustration going on, right buddy?" he said the last part cheerily with a huge grin on his face.

"JAMES! You share too much," Kendall told him. His phone vibrated.

_'for the 4th time I have a boyfriend,' _the text read.

_'aww come on baby I know you want me grinding into you,'_ Kendall replied, a smug grin on his face.

James snatched the phone out of his hand. "Let me see that," he said. He read the texts Kendall had been sending Jade. "Dude, Jo is gonna find out somehow. Be careful."

"Jo WHO," Kendall scoffed, grabbing the phone back when it vibrated again.

_'fuck off,'_ It said. Kendall grinned.

_'come on, tell me what you're wearing ;),'_ Kendall replied. He WOULD get this. He had to.

_'im her boyfriend and im wearing a frown. and if you dont get the fuck away from my girlfriend ill tell jo about this,'_ The next text read.

"Ahh!" He dropped the phone. Kendall wasn't worried so much about Jo knowing, he could honestly care less about her at this point, and was thinking about dumping her anyways. But if Jo found out, she'd be pissed and tell everybody. Gustavo would yell at him, he was sure, and Jett would hop up on Jo and rub it in his face ASAP. So Jo finding out was a pretty good threat.

"Let me guess, he's gonna tell Jo," James said, snickering.

"How'd you know?" Kendall asked him.

"Because, I'm texting Beck. See?" James replied, holding his phone up in front of Kendall's face.

"Dude! Why are you always on the other side!"

"I'm not, I'm getting enemy secrets. Duhh."

"What are you guys talking about?" Carlos asked innocently from the couch, where he sat with a hand on Cat's knee. They'd just been staring at each other the entire time.

"Nothing!" Kendall told them, "Just go back to... Whatever you were doing. LOGAN!"

Logan stuck his head out of his room, confused, "Yeah dude?" he replied.

"Would you entertain Carlos and Cat?"

Logan shook his head, knowing whenever there was something Carlos couldn't be trusted knowing, one of them would have to occupy him. Now, they had to do the same as Cat, seeing as wherever he was, she was.

"Okay, Carlos! There's corndogs... In the lobby!"

Carlos shrieked and jumped up, dragging Cat along with him as he chased Logan out the door.

"So what should I do?" Kendall asked as soon as they were gone, "Sexting obviously isn't happening."

"Well," James said, "first of all, stay the fuck away anytime Beck is near."

"Okay..." Kendall replied.

"Secondly," he said, "if you're serious about this, you're gonna have to cheat on Jo. If you dump her, it makes your intentions too obvious, and you really don't want everyone else knowing. Now we'll have to have an excuse to see her again. A.K.A. a party."

Kendall shrugged, "Easy enough. Throw a party."

"Now, Beck can't be there. You have to make it seem fun. If she thinks 'Hey, everyone's gonna think I'm a whore if I get with Kendall,' that's no good. But if she's thinking, 'Oh look, here's this mysterious and forbidden guy. He's taken and out of my reach, and if anyone found out about us we'd be toast,' you're golden."

Kendall raised an eyebrow, "I think I already lost that angle."

James shook his head, "No, see now you're gonna have to ignore her for about half of the party, and if you see her before that, still just ignore her. You'll confuse her. Then, halfway through the party, pin her to the wall and say you've been ignoring her because it'd be too obvious, and everyone knows that you two can never be."

Kendall nodded, looking very interested.

"Okay," James continued, "here's where it gets tricky. You'll have to make sure Jo is at the party, but preoccupied. Jade has to know there's a danger of getting caught, but not by Beck, because that's too risky."

"Alright," Kendall said, "but what about Beck?"

"He'll be a snap. I'm afraid Beck will be busy during this party."

Kendall shook his head, "I don't even wanna know."

James put a hand on his back, "Just remember the sacrifices I make for you, buddy."

Kendall rolled his eyes as James left.

_**~*~*Breakin this page to go to the next day! For this next scene, you'll either love me or hate me.*~*~**_

"Hey! Everyone else is gone!" Carlos observed, looking around the empty apartment.

"Really?" Cat said. She looked around with wide eyes, wondering why that was so great.

"Yeah," Carlos said, "James told me you always want to be alone in a room with a pretty girl."

Cat giggled, "Aww," she batted her eyelashes at him.

"But he said you want to be in a room with a bed," Carlos said, standing up from the couch and taking Cat's hand.

"Let's go!" Cat told him, hopping up off the big orange couch. Carlos brought her into his room.

"So... What do we do now?" Cat asked him when they were sitting on his bed.

"I guess we kiss?" Carlos told her, leaning in to get her mouth. She leaned in to the kiss. Carlos reached his arms around her and cupped her neck in one hand. He ran a hand down to her hips like he'd seen James do.

He leaned back, pulling her all the way onto the bed. He dragged her in close to him, their bodies pressing together. She grabbed his hair and rolled on top of him, still kissing him. Carlos worked his way down, kissing her neck and chest, then took her shirt off.

Cat let him pull it right off her, reaching down and around Carlos. She took his pants off, and Carlos hooked his arms behind her back to flip her over, holding himself up above her. He leaned down again, attacking her mouth. He undid her pants and started to pull them off, but she kicked them off before he could. Carlos pulled his own shirt off, and Cat reached up and ran her hands down his abs. He tensed them, making sure they felt rock hard. His dick was also like that at the moment, and it was freaking him out how bad he wanted her.

"I love you so much," Carlos whispered to her, biting her ear as he did so.

"I love you more," Cat told him, reaching up and grabbing him around the neck. She pulled him over to her so their noses were just touching. Carlos kissed her gently, then shoved his toungue into her mouth forcefully. He reached down and took her underwear off, then reached back and undid her bra.

"Are you ready?" he breathed quietly.

"Not until you take your boxers off," she replied, sliding her hands under them. Carlos obeyed and put his hands over hers, taking them off quickly.

"Now I'm ready," she stared into his eyes. Carlos gulped. He was already hard enough, and Cat was definitely wet. But he was just so nervous, he'd never had sex before.

Carefully, Carlos perched over her. He slid his dick in, a little at first, then went at it completely. Suddenly, he really wanted it.

"Carlos!" Cat screamed.

"Oh baby," he moaned, leaning into it more and more with every thrust.

"Harder," she ordered him. Carlos did so, giving in completely. The only thing he was thinking of was sex.

Cat arched her back, leaning into it more. She held onto one of his hands, gripping it like it was her only link to life.

Carlos fell back onto the bed next to her, panting when they were done.

"That was so great," she breathed.

Carlos put both arms around her, taking a moment to grab her boob as he did so.

"Baby, I love you so much," he whispered into her ear. She turned and looked into his big brown eyes. They still looked lusty and loving.

"I love you too," she replied, not knowing what else to say.

"Why didn't we do this before?" He asked, curling his body around her. He wrapped a leg around hers and ran a hand down her side.

"I don't know," she said, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck, "but that was perfect."

Carlos kissed her on the forehead before pulling his blanket up off the floor and over them to go to sleep.

_***~*~Jesus christ I don't usually write porn that wasn't even that bad but DAMN.~*~***_

**A/N: Ok, so remember how I promised more Carlos/Cat?**

**You got it. Lots of it. AHfhsdhfjf I never thought I would write Carlos porn, honestly.**

**I may or may not be listening to Blow Your Speakers on repeat right now. And on that, I think it should really be called Blow Carlos's Dick, or at least that first verse because, jesus, it just... ashfdhs I never really thought of Carlos as the sex god type but, here it is. OH MY GOD. If my mother saw this I would just die.**

**Hhhhmm review I guess. If you must. If you really really must. Unless you just want to disown me and forget all of this. Which is totally cool too.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks to all the people reviewing and favoriting and alerting and all that jazz. Now, on with the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: I sincerely hope Scott Fellows and Dan Schneider don't have these thoughts.**

_***~*~He-hey! Page break timee~*~***_

Cat blinked and wiped her eyes as she woke up. Her eyelashes felt heavy and clumpy from running mascara and her fingertips had some black on them from rubbing her eyes. She turned over to see Carlos, who still had his arms around her. The blankets were all in a tangle around them. She wondered what time it was, but whatever it was, it had gotten dark. Logan's bed was still made and the door was still closed. She heard a door click.

"Hey," James's voice came from outside.

"Sshh!" Logan and Kendall chorused. People were home?

"What?" James asked.

"Carlos is sleeping," Logan told him, "and so is Cat."

"Cat?" Cat blushed bright red when she heard her name. What had they seen?

"Yeah," she heard Logan's voice lower to a whisper, "I need to keep this quiet, Mrs. Knight and Katie are upstairs, but I went to go into Carlos's and my room, and Carlos and Cat were in Carlos's bed. They were asleep, and they had a blanket over them so I didn't see anything, but it smelled like sex and-"

"He did it! The bastard finally got it on!" James hissed happily, "Logan, you're the only one left."

Cat's eyes widened. So THAT'S what they had seen. Or at least what Logan had seen. She decided it was time to wake Carlos up. She ran a finger over his face, which still looked peaceful and innocent as he slept. It was a hell of a lot less innocent now, and apparently the other boys already knew.

"Hmmm," Carlos mumbled, slowly starting to wake up.

"Ssshh," Cat whispered into his ear, "put some clothes on."

Carlos nodded and pulled on a pair of gray sweatpants with no shirt, (or underwear for that matter). He picked up Cat's bra and underwear, and his shirt from earlier and handed them to her. She put them on, knowing they were about to go out and face the other boys. They might as well look the part.

Carlos opened the door to his room, and saw that Kendall and Logan were on the couch. Kendall was biting his lip, trying his hardest not to laugh. He failed and snorted a little, then started snickering like crazy. Logan looked very uncomfortable. It was clear that they knew.

The biggest tip-off, however, was the fact that James was standing behind the kitchen island, grinning ear-to-ear, and holding a big piece of paper. On it were the words 'Congrats on the sex,' messily scrawled in purple marker with squiggles around it. It looked like it'd probably taken him about five seconds to make.

"I would've made a cake, but I just got home," he apologized.

Cat turned red. She'd obviously known the others knew but... wow. This was embarassing.

Carlos, on the other hand, had no idea that the other boys had gotten home. He didn't even realize how late it was.

"Why are you here?" He shrieked, his face bright red. He covered his face with his hands, mortified.

"Ssshh," Kendall said, running over and covering Carlos's mouth, "it's midnight!" He scrunched up his nose and pulled back and away from Carlos, "and you reek of cum and sweat. You don't want my mom to wake up and see you two like this. Or smell you."

"Your mom! What'd you tell her when I wasn't home?"

"We said you were still out with James, and that Cat had left awhile ago," Logan told him.

"Okay, but she's still here!"

"Ssshh," James said, "we know. So what should you do?"

"Hmmm..." Carlos paused and looked down, then turned his attention back to James. "You said to always say thank you!" he announced proudly.

Kendall punched Carlos on the arm and Logan covered his eyes over his face, rubbing his temples a little.

"No!" James corrected, "Drive her home, for God's sake!"

"Okay, but you said-"

"Alright, you're done," Kendall said, turning Carlos back towards his room, "go get a shirt on, and get Cat some pants, and bring her home."

Logan tossed Carlos the keys, still amazed that Carlos had managed to get his license. Or sex, for that matter. But that was a whole other story.

After Cat's shorts were back on and Carlos had a shirt on, they left.

_**~*~*I don't wanna write about the car ride so now we're at Tori's place, because Cat's crashing there, okay?*~*~**_

"Here we are," Carlos said, pushing Cat up against the door. Cat giggled and reached up, putting her arms around his neck. Carlos put one hand on her upper back and the other on her butt and kissed her for a second.

"Do you have to go?" Carlos whisper-begged.

"Good night," Cat sing-songed, batting her eyelashes at him as she slipped through the door.

"Hey guys!" She said happily, turning around to a room full of her friends. They all started to greet her, then stopped, their eyes widening in shock and their mouths gaping.

"I can't believe it," Tori said.

"Innocence. BAM. Gone," Jade added.

"What are you guys talking about?" Cat giggled.

"We know, Cat," Robbie told her.

"How'd you find out!" Cat said, amazed.

"Cat," Tori said, "your hair's all messed up. You left wearing a yellow tank top, but now you have a white t-shirt on. Your makeup's running. We can tell."

"Also, you smell like sex," Beck added.

Cat turned pink.

"So," Andre said as he got up and went to get a lemonade, "when do we beat him up?"

"What do you mean?" Cat asked.

"The guy," Jade told her, "we'll be all after his ass now that he's taken your virginity."

"What is Carlos finds out?" Tori voiced.

"It was Carlos, silly," Cat giggled.

Andre choked on the lemonade he'd been drinking, spitting it out a little.

"Carlos?" Beck furrowed his brows. He put his hand down around his chin-level to show how small Carlos was.

"Little, innocent Carlos?" Tori clarified.

"Helmet Carlos?" Robbie asked.

"I knew it! I knew the nice and innocent thing was an act! He's a secret sex addict," Trina stated.

"Guys!" Cat giggled and blushed even more, "It's fine. Relax."

"Alright," Tori said, "fine. Sleepover time. All guys out. Go home." After a little protesting, they got all of the guys out of the apartment. It took the longest to get rid of Beck; he had stopped to make out with Jade. He was the hardest (literally).

"Sooo, what was it like?"

_***~*~We really don't need to hear this conversation so we'll go back to the BTR boys, since I like them better.~*~***_

Carlos closed the door to 2J behind him and rubbed his eyes. It was already one in the morning. How the hell could LA have such bad traffic even in the middle of the night?

"There he is!" James called happily, raising his hand to high-five Carlos. He lowered it after a second of Carlos not noticing.

"How was it, dude?" Kendall asked, "I mean, I know you have nothing to compare to, but what did you think?"

"I think I'm tired," Carlos yawned, collapsing onto the couch. Logan was lying on one end of it, out cold.

"Oh come on," Kendall said, "we don't even get a story?"

"Yeah! How'd you get her to do it? Did she want to at first? Was she scared? Were you scared? Did it last for a long time? Was it fun? Was it hot? Did she like it? Did you like it?" James asked him eagerly.

"Gossip... schoolgirls," Logan mumbled from the couch, receiving a shrug and a wave from James and Kendall.

"Well?"

"Not sure. Yes. No. Maybe... I don't know! What was the next question?" Carlos pleaded, trying to keep up.

"Ok, let's try to clear this up..." James began.

"He's not sure HOW he got it on, she DID want to, SHE wasn't scared, CARLOS was ready to piss himself-"

"HEY! I said maybe!"

"No," James teased, "you said maaaaybe... which means HELL YES."

"Hey, as long as you remembered protection," Kendall joked

Carlos's eyes widened, "What?" he squeaked.

James spit out the water he'd just gotten, "WHAT?" he yelled.

Carlos just looked more frightened. They heard a door open and close upstairs.

"Shit!" Kendall hissed, "Carlos go hide now! You still smell like sex!" He pushed the little latino away and Carlos turned and ran quickly into his and Logan's room.

Mrs. Knight sleepily walked into the kitchen. "What is going on down here? Why are you still up?"

"I um- I spilled some water on James's shirt, and he got mad at me."

James nodded eagerly, opening his eyes wide, and pointed at the water on his shirt, "I was pretty pissed for a second there."

"Annoyed," Mrs. Knight corrected, then added, "ok, fine, just go to sleep now, got it? And get Logan to his bed."

They nodded and waved goodbye as she left.

"Logan," James hissed, "get your ass up and into your room!"

"Mmm," Logan rolled over, "later."

"Carlos may have practiced unsafe sex," Kendall whispered into his ear.

Logan shot straight up and James slapped a hand over his mouth before he could yell anything.

"Sshh!" Kendall told him, grabbing Logan's legs. They knew he'd get all freaked-out-and-yelly, so Kendall took his legs and James put his free arm around Logan's torso.

"Mmmm mm mm!" Logan mumbled.

"Dude! He licked me!" James hissed.

They dropped Logan onto his bed as soon as they got into the room.

"Was carrying me in here really neccesary?" Logan asked angrily.

The taller boys shrugged. "It was fun," they chorused.

"I can't believe I licked James's hand," Logan grumbled, "...don't wanna know where that's been in the past 24 hours."

"Hey! It's not like I don't wash them!" James snapped back, "And I _moisturize_," he rubbed his hands together and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Guys!" Kendall whisper-yelled, "First of all, shut the fuck up. And B," he continued as the others snickered at his mistake, "This is about CARLOS, remember?"

"Riight," James and Logan said together.

"So, Carlos," James began, "did you use one of," he opened Logan's top nightstand drawer, trying to get an example. "Dude, where do you keep your condoms?" He asked, annoyed when he didn't find any.

"I don't have any," Logan answered him, "I'm not sexually active."

James rolled his eyes, "You are such a nerd. Be right back," he spun around and ran out to his and Kendall's room. He came back seconds later, holding another condom like he had the night of the party. Carlos just watched in silence.

"Now," James said, trying to sound professional, "did you use one of these? It doesn't have to be the same size, it's ok, I don't want you to feel insecure, not everybody can be as-"

"JAMES!" Kendall interjected, "Get to the point."

"Right," James said, "the point is, did you use one?"

Carlos shook his head without a word.

Logan fell back onto the bed. Kendall slapped a hand over his face. James's eyes widened and he dropped the condom.

"Is that bad?" Carlos squeaked, his eyes widening with fear.

"It just- it means that- Kendall!" James began.

"It means," Kendall began, taking a deep breath, "that Cat could possibly- get pregnant."

"L-l-l-like a baby?" Carlos asked, connecting the dots. Of course he knew it was possible. And preventable. He just... hadn't done a lot of thinking in awhile.

Kendall nodded slowly.

"We can't have a baby around here!" Logan said from behind James, who was still standing in the middle of the room.

"If we have a baby, it'll cry, and I won't be able to get my BEAUTY SLEEP!" James whined, yelling the last part. Kendall jumped up and clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Shut up!" He hissed, "This isn't about you right now! And keep quiet!"

James nodded when Kendall took his hand his mouth.

"So, now what?" Carlos asked nervously.

"We... wait," Kendall told him.

"We should probably just go to bed," Logan sighed.

The other three nodded. James and Kendall turned to head out. James picked the condom up off the ground and handed it to Carlos.

"Here... Just in case," he whispered with a lighthearted wink. Carlos only nodded in horror of what he'd just heard.

_**~*~*Author's Note time!*~*~**_

**A/N: SOOOOO Whattaya think? Tell me in the reviews! I'm gonna go write that next chapter now.**

**PEACE.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys! Ready for another chapter? I'm starting to wonder how long this will be, or how to end it, and all that...**

**So, yeah. Now I guess we're a week later at that lovely party we've all been waiting for. Well, a little before the party. You know what? Just read the goddamn story. It should be clear enough.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own these people or ANYTHING. I swear to god. LEAVE ME ALONE.**

_***~*~LALALALA page break!~*~***_

"Hey Logan," Kendall began, "I have a kinda... weird request."

"Ok..." Logan raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his soda.

"Would you come on to Jo for me at the party tonight?" Kendall asked awkwardly.

"Cola up my nose," Logan snorted, coughing. "Come again?"

James slid into the room at that moment.

"Alright Logan," he began, clearly knowing exactly what they were talking about, "you know our Kendall here kinda has a thing for Jade now, right?" He patted Kendall on the back. Kendall rolled his eyes.

Logan nodded.

"Well," James continued, "Kendall is gonna try to see if he can please Little Kendall tonight, if you know what I mean, but we're gonna need your help," he explained.

"So you want me to come on to Jo..."

"To distract her," James finished for him.

"How?" Logan asked, "I mean, I'm really not the smoothest with girls..." he trailed off, remembering "bleep blap bloop."

"But I am," James assured him, "which is why I'm gonna demonstrate to you exactly what to do." He pushed Kendall up against the fridge, making him lean there.

"I'm you and Kendall is Jo," he clarified.

"I'm my own girlfriend," Kendall laughed.

"It's just you and your hand tonight!" James sang.

"Speaking of which, how's Carlos doing?" Kendall asked Logan.

"Better," Logan said. They all looked over to Carlos and Logan's room. The door was open, so they could see inside. Carlos was sitting on his bed, viciously biting his nails.

Logan shrugged, "It's better than before. He was just staring at his hands earlier."

"Back on topic!" James called their attention back to the 'lesson.'

"Now," James told Logan matter-of-factly, "the first step is to get her drunk." He reached up into the cabinet and pulled out a shot glass.

"Where did you get a shot glass?" Logan asked, "We don't even have shot glasses..."

James rolled his eyes and Kendall put his hands up and shrugged.

"Okay," James continued, "she probably won't want to drink at first."

"Oooh no, Logan, I shouldn't!" Kendall said in a girly voice while he put his hands up. Logan laughed.

James filled the shot glass with water, and grabbed another, filling that one too. He pushed one of them at Kendall. "Come on, honey," he said in a seductive voice, "I'll have one too." He turned his attention to Logan and returned back to his normal voice, "Of course, normally, you wouldn't want to get drunk at all, because you wanna stay on your game. But since it's you, and you tend to be a little uptight, I'd suggest you have a couple to loosen up. If you're a lightweight, stick to one or two drinks, but if that's not gonna get you at least a teensy bit buzzed, you might wanna go for the third. How easy do you get drunk?"

"I-I-I don't know," Logan said, "I don't usually drink."

James rolled his eyes, "Go with two for starters, but if that wont do it for you, have the third."

Logan just nodded.

"Now," James made a sweeping gesture, "observe and copy." He put the drink in Kendall's face, so it was only about six inches from his lips.

"Drink up," he said lightly, with a wink. Kendall took the shot glass and downed the water, as did James.

"I guess if you do, it's okay," Kendall said, giggling in his girly voice.

"It is, hold on, I'm gonna go get us more," James told him.

Kendall nodded and stayed where he was.

"So," James said, pretending to come back with new shot glasses.

Logan watched as James very smoothly got "Jo" to drink nine shots, talk nonstop to him, and even grind with him. Well, James and Kendall ground in more of a joking way, but still.

"I promise you," James said, "you do this, and you'll be able to get Jo to do whatever you want."

"Really?" Logan asked, still unsure. It might work fine for James, but that was James.

"Believe me," James said, "just be cool. And have fun."

"Should I wear my swagger shades?" Logan suggested jokingly, raising an eyebrow. Kendall laughed.

"Do NOT steal my swagger," James said in a deep voice, then, smoothing his hair, added, "I'm gonna need it."

Logan rolled his eyes, "I don't wanna know."

"You probably don't," James said, patting Logan on the back. "Good luck, you'll do great."

"Yeah Logan," Kendall said in his high-pitched voice, "I'll be all yours." He shimmied his shoulders, (terribly), and batted his eyelashes at him (also bad).

Logan shook his head slowly. "I gotta get new friends."

James and Kendall shrugged and high-fived, sure their master plan would work.

_**~*~*Social gathering! Social gathering!*~*~**_

"Hey Jo," Logan said in a husky voice, sliding up as casually as possible. He had on a leather jacket and pants that were definitely too tight for his comfort. He even had the shades in his pocket, just in case. What James didn't know couldn't hurt him.

"Hi," Jo said, confused, "is there something wrong with your voice?"

Logan coughed to clear his throat, "Want a drink?" he held up a shot glass, trying not to wince.

"Oh I don't know, Logan, I don't usually drink," Jo said, "have you seen Kendall?"

"I don't think so," Logan said, looking around, "He's been weird lately, hasn't he?"

"Yeah," Jo said, "do you think he could be cheating on me?"

Logan's eyes widened, "Nope! Kendall would never do that."

"Yeah, you're probably right," she said, "I just worry, you know?"

Logan nodded quickly. "Yeah, it sounds stressful," he smirked at the opportunity, "you probably just need to relax and party. Tell you what, if you drink, I'll drink."

Jo shrugged and took the tiny glass from Logan. They clinked glasses and drank them in one gulp.

Success.

_***~*~This part is just gonna jump the fuck around like craazy, ok? Hold on for the ride!~*~***_

"Hey," Kendall said, leaning up against the doorframe where Jade was standing.

"Oh my GOD," Jade rolled her eyes, "Do you never give up?"

"Quitters never win," Kendall said, cocking his head with a smug grin.

"And winners never quit," Jade finished, "but you're no winner."

"Oh, but I am," Kendall told her.

"You wish," Jade retorted, "besides, my BOYFRIEND should be here soon."

"Please," Kendall said, it was his turn to roll his eyes this time, "he isn't coming."

"What are you talking about?" Jade asked.

"I'm just saying," Kendall shrugged, "he didn't come to pick you up, and he's already plenty late. I bet he has other plans."

He was getting Jade's interest, "Like what?" Jade asked, squinting.

"I don't know," Kendall shrugged, "What, do you think I'm psychic? I'm not some boyfriend status tracker."

_**~*~*Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again*~*~**_

Beck was lacing up his second moto boot, getting ready to leave, when the trailer door suddenly opened. He jumped back, looking up to see who was there. It was James Diamond, that guy he'd originally hated and called a manwhore and a tool, when he went out with Tori. He didn't hate him anymore since James had sided with him and Jade, but he was still a manwhore and a tool.

"Hey Beck," James said, casually closing the door behind him. The party was starting at eight, and it was already almost eight now. Kendall was supposed to text him once the coast was clear, so he might only have to keep Beck occupied until about eleven, but then again, he might have to distract Beck all night, depending on the bastard's luck.

"Umm... Hi," Beck said, confused, "Aren't you kind of... hosting the party?"

"Nope," James said blatantly.

"Why-"

James shrugged, "I don't wanna go," he said plainly, "the other guys can manage without me, I'm sure."

"Well, I'm going to the party," Beck told him, still confused.

"No you're not," James said plainly, leaning on the door and crossing his arms.

"Yes, I am," Beck stood up, starting to look annoyed.

James chuckled, "That's what you think."

Beck walked over to where James stood, "That's what I know."

"Oh, you clearly don't know too much," James whispered huskily. Their faces were very close now.

Beck pulled back, looking a little shaken. He tried to pry James away from the door, "Dude, let me go!"

"Never," James said mischeviously, holding his ground. It wasn't too diffucult, he was a lot bigger than Beck.

"What the hell are you doing this for anyways?" Beck said, struggling to get James to move.

James suddenly grabbed Beck by the shoulders and turned him abruptly, shoving him against the door so his back was pressed against it. "You're staying here with me. All. Night. Long," he growled into the other boy's ear.

"Dude!" Beck said, trying to push James away, and failing, "I'm straight!"

"You sure about that?" James whispered into Beck's ear, tracing a finger down his chest. Beck bit his lip.

"Yup," he gulped.

"That's not what your dick says," James sing-songed. He grinned and wiggled his hips against Beck's, lightly grinding them together.

Sure enough, Beck was starting to get a boner. He turned a little red, while James was full on beaming.

"Still so sure?" James teased, leaning in close until his face was about a centimeter from Beck's.

"Mhmm," Beck said tightly, biting his lip while nodding.

"Prove it," James whispered. He kissed along Beck's jawline and moved down, biting on his neck. Beck got harder and harder.

Beck was trying his best to keep his composure, "I- I have to go," he tried begging one last time.

James pulled back suddenly, putting his hands up. "Fine," he said, "go. Be free. Are you sure you want to go now?"

Beck stood where he was, eyes wide. Now that he had the opportunity to go, he had no desire to leave at all.

"Now," James said smugly, picking up Beck's phone, "why don't you call your little girlfriend and tell her to hitch a ride with someone else?"

Beck just nodded and hit Jade's number.

"Hey, Jade? Yeah, h-how you doing?... Good, look, something came up, I won't be able to make the party. Yeah, I know, sorry. Have fun with out me. Bye." He hung up he phone and put it back down on the little table nearby.

"Now, where were we?" James asked, wrapping his arms around Beck's waist. He glanced at the clock behind Beck. At least two hours and fifty minutes to go...

_***~*~Jumpity jump jump~*~***_

"...Yeah. Bye," Jade hung up her phone and put it back in her pocket, looking annoyed.

"What's wrong?" Kendall asked, trying his hardest not to smirk.

"You were right, Beck isn't coming," Jade said in a flat, annoyed voice.

"Well, that sucks. Maybe a drink will help you relax," Kendall suggested. He cocked his head and raised his eyebrows, giving her his best charmer look.

Jade shrugged, "I guess," she said.

Worked every time.

"How come you're not worried about Jo getting all jealous?" Jade asked as she took the beer from Kendall when he came back.

Kendall shrugged, "Jo's not really a great girlfriend. Constantly canceling on me and stuff," he said, looking away, "Hey," he said lightheartedly, "something we have in common," he laughed and clinked his beer to hers. This should be a snap.

_**~*~*Jumping the hell around some moooore*~*~**_

"Logan!" Jo giggled. She'd probably had about six drinks at this point and was pretty drunk.

"Ssssh!" Logan said, laughing. He leaned his head down from where he was behind her and nibbled on her ear some more. They were grinding, and Jo was clearly into it. James had been right; a few drinks DID help Logan loosen up. Okay, so maybe he should've stopped at two like James reccommended, but that had felt like it was taking FOREVER to set in. So he had another. And another. And the next thing he knew, there he was, grinding with his best friend's girlfriend.

The next song came on, and it picked up the beat. Logan spun Jo around so she was facing him, and they ground together, face to face. Logan leaned in so his nose was pressed up to Jo's and they swayed to the music, giving eachother flirtatious glances and winks. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Logan closed the gap, kissing her. Soon enough, he picked her up and she hitched her legs around his hips. He tangled his fingers into her hair, kissing her more and more intensely. Logan quickly brought her off to his bedroom and closed the door behind him. Neither of them noticed Kendall and Jade as they passed.

_***~*~Wait what? I did NOT plan that. I'll fix it I promise!~*~***_

Kendall laughed as the crazed couple made their way to Logan's room. Logan would flip shit if he found out.

A second later, Kendall did a double-take, realizing that couple WAS Logan... and Jo. He spit out his beer.

Jade raised her eyebrows, "Very faithful girlfriend you got there," she said sarcastically.

Kendall took a deep breath. This was all part of the plan... Logan just took it a little farther. He shook his head. It didn't matter. Logan could get a little pleasure out of all this, why not? He didn't want Jo anymore anyways. And this gave him a great angle.

"Whatever," he shook his head, "she can screw around if she wants. Sounds like Beck is too, huh?" he suggested.

"Oh, I don't know..." Jade trailed off, starting to wonder. Was he cheating?

Kendall leaned closer, "What did he sound like on the phone?"

"I just... I don't know."

"Did he sound turned on?"

Jade's eyes widened. "Well yeah, he kinda did, now that you say it..."

"So maybe I'm not alone in this boat." He leaned closer, looking directly at her. He knew his green eyes were irresisteble.

"I guess not," she muttered.

"You wanna get back at him?" Kendall asked, pressing his hips up against hers.

She bit her lip, hesitating.

"Come on," he wiggled his hips around, pressing her up against the wall, "Beck's not here. This is scandalous. This is hot. This is fun. This is _revenge_."

Jade smiled a little, leaning into him, "Revenge is sweet," she said.

"Baby, I'm the sweetest kind," he whispered. He kissed her ear, then her jawbone, then worked his way down his neck to her collarbone.

_**~*~*Somebody please tell me what the hell I'm doing over here*~*~**_

Beck let out a moan as James kissed him.

"Still think you're straight?" James chuckled, pulling back and sitting up.

"I- better question, what are you?" Beck asked him.

James shrugged, "I mostly like girls, but I don't mind the occasional dude."

Beck nodded, looking around.

James looked at his phone. Ten.

"If you're done, we could always go to that party," Beck said, hoping James would turn the offer down.

James rolled his eyes and pushed the other guy onto the bed. He ran his hands down Beck's torso, then started taking off his own pants. James knew he was gonna have to take it farther to keep Beck occupied. He really wasn't that into guys, but a blowjob was a blowjob. James was starting to get hard again anyways. Why not.

"You want it?" he growled into Beck's ear. Beck nodded frantically.

_***~*~Keepin' it fresh~*~***_

Logan pushed Jo onto his bed, kissing her harshly. She reached up and pulled his jacket off and pushed her hands under his shirt, running her hands down his sides.

"When did you start wearing leather jackets? It's sexy."

"Oh, you know," Logan smiled, sucking on her neck, "I just thought I'd try it. You like it?"

She moaned her approval and felt around his body more, running her hands across his abs.

"Is it just me," she mumbled, "or are you getting more muscular?"

Logan blushed and took her shirt off. He kissed her chest and wrapped his hands around her waist, running his hands down to her ass.

Suddenly, Logan pulled back. "No, I can't," he said.

"Baby, why not?" Jo whined, fisting his shirt and trying to pull him back to her. She smelled like booze and worn off perfume.

"It would be wrong," Logan said, "and I don't have any condoms."

"Kendall, you always have condoms," Jo said, slurring her words as she grabbed his leg, itching to take his pants off.

Logan paused, shocked. She thought he was Kendall?

_'Think Logan, you're smart. You got this,' _he told himself in his mind. What should he do here?

"Well, you know babe, we can just fool around some," he whispered, kissing her again as he leaned back in. He figured he might as well. Kendall didn't seem to concerned about WHAT Logan did with his girlfriend. Not that it was likely he thought Logan would get that far.

Jo grinned and moved her hands down to undo Logan's belt. She tossed his pants to the floor and put her hands under his boxers. Logan smirked.

What was it that James always said? A blowjob was a blowjob.

And this was the perfect oppurtune moment.

_**~*~*Dun dun dun!*~*~**_

**A/N: Hey! So there it is! I know this is going crazy all over the place with the characters, and it's escalated to way more than what it says in the summary, but hang on! We'll get there! I hope you like it! And I hate to say this (because I hate when people do this) but can you review some before I put up the next chapter? I know people are favoriting and alerting, but this poor thing just looks so lonely. And I don't want people to be like "Omg, it barely has any reviews. Must suck." and scroll past it.**

**So please click the button? For me? \/**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys! I don't feel like being all chatty right now (I know, I'm shocked too) so I guess I'll just give you this chapter. Thanks to people blah blah BLAAHHHH.**

**I just almost wrote BALLL instead of BLAAAAA at first but I caught myself, lol.**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah yeah I don't own it, what else is new?**

_***~*~PAGE BREAKING ALL UP IN HERE~*~***_

Logan blinked his eyes open momentarily, only to slam them shut again a moment later. His head was pounding and he felt like he could puke his stomach out for days. He vaguely remembered the previous night, but mostly he just wanted to know why he was alive when he felt like he'd really rather just curl up and die.

He rolled over and opened his eyes, blinking. He almost fell off the bed in shock because of what he saw next to him. Or rather, who he saw. Jo was asleep on the other side of the bed. Logan bit his lip, making sure he didn't panic.

_'Deep breath,' _he thought, trying to remember what happened. He vaguely remembered getting her drunk and grinding, and making out, and her giving him a blow job, and him fingering her, but that was it. His face turned bright red. That was a hell of a lot to be 'it.' Logan got up quietly to go see who was there, but turned back before leaving. He quickly grabbed a post it note, and on it wrote _'Be right back. Stay quiet. People are home.' _He left it on the bed next to Jo, in case she woke up.

"Hey guys," he said casually when he walked out into the kitchen. Kendall and James were there, having breakfast. Kendall turned around to get something out of the fridge. As soon as he did this, Logan grabbed James by the arm and dragged him into the bathroom.

"Dude, wha-" Logan clapped a hand over James's mouth before he could finish.

"-the hell?" he whispered after Logan removed his hand a second later.

"Jo is in my bed!" Logan hissed, getting right to the point.

"What?" James asked, "Why? Did you guys get it on?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"James!" Logan punched him in the arm, "This isn't funny! This is BAD. And no, we didn't _get it on," _he made air quotes as he said it, rolling his eyes, "But we got pretty damn close! And Kendall could be very pissed."

"Oh don't worry about Kendall," James said, waving at the air, "he is in a VERY good mood this morning."

_**~*~*Let's flashback to the night before, shall we?*~*~**_

Kendall pushed Jade up against the wall, kissing her. He leaned in more and more to deepen the kiss. He ran his hands down her sides, sending shivers over her body. Jade let herself get pulled in closer and closer, when Kendall had taken her hand.

He was dragging her off towards his bedroom, a smug grin on his face. There were couples grinding all around the apartment, Carlos and Cat were making out in a corner, there was weed being passed around and drinks being poured. Most importantly, no one was paying attention to them.

Jade giggled as Kendall dragged her into his room, closing the door behind him with a click. He winked and pulled her onto the bed so she was on top of him. Kendall quickly slid his hands under her back and flipped her over, going for dominance. She let out a moan and obeyed, and Kendall put his hands up under her shirt. He took it off quickly and went to take off his pants. Jade wiggled out of hers, and Kendall took his shirt off. He kissed her neck and slid his hands under her underwear, letting his quick little fingers make their way down. Kendall took his boxers off and unhooked her bra and pulled it off. He kissed her neck and sucked and bit at the skin, which she evidently liked, as showed by the moans she let out because of them.

"Hold on," he panted, nowhere near able to calm down, "I have something." He reached into the top drawer of his nightstand to grab a condom. He put it on quickly.

Jade would have hated to admit it a week ago, but Kendall was great. Jo was one lucky bitch.

"Fuck," she breathed out as she moved with him, up and down. She reached up to wrap her hands around his neck and he kissed down her chest again.

"Gladly," Kendall hissed into her ear, leaning into it more and more with each thrust.

"Kendall!" Jade screamed, not knowing what else to say. She wound her fingers through his shaggy hair, her grip tense.

Kendall leaned down and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her, "Still don't like me?" he whispered.

_***~*~Back to the future! (see what I did there)~*~***_

"Kendall had sex with Jade?" Logan hissed quickly.

"Yes dude, that's what I just said," James said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh my God..."

"Apparently they were pretty loud too, you were obviously occupied, so Carlos turned the music way up to cover."

"Wow."

"Now, I'm gonna go talk to Kendall. You pretend you were puking in here."

"I don't think I'll have to pretend too much," Logan said, wincing as he sat down in front of the toilet.

James just shrugged and went out to talk to Kendall.

"Hey," Kendall said, pointing towards the bathroom in confusion, "what were you doing in there?"

"Logan isn't doing too well. Drank a little more than he should've," James told him.

"Really? Never would've expected it. How'd things go with Jo?"

"They went... A little too well, actually."

Kendall's eyebrows raised, "Really? How so?"

James lowered his voice and told Kendall what Logan had said went down.

"Wow," Kendall smirked, "maybe Logan can take her off my hands. Then I'll be free to date Jade, as long as she and Beck break up."

"And what the hell makes you think she and Beck would break up?" James asked.

"Well, I mean, if Beck was gay..." Kendall trailed off, picking up a grape and popping it in his mouth with a wink.

"Dude, NO," James told him, putting his hands up, "I already did plenty of dirty work for you. Literally."

"But James, you might be my only chance!"

"No way," James shook his head, "besides, you have bigger problems than that. How about the fact that your girlfriend is passed out in Logan's bed, and Jade is passed out in yours. And when Jade gets up, she might think to want an explanation for where Beck was last night. I really don't think 'On James's dick,' is a good answer."

"It's a great answer!" Kendall cheered, "She'll totally dump him! And Jo can get with Logan and I can ride Jade all day long. Everybody wins."

"No," James corrected, "You win. I get the world thinking I'm gay and I really don't think Logan and Jo like eachother all that much."

"What are you talking about?" Kendall asked, "You just told me what they did!"

"Yeah, I think it was more like Jo was thinking 'Oh hey, I'm really drunk and here's a dick to put my mouth on.' And Logan was like "This is the first time I've been drunk and here's a girl who wants to put my dick in her mouth.' It's not like they want to run off and get married."

"Well I don't wanna _marry_ Jade," Kendall defended.

"Right, you just want to fuck her brains out."

"Well I mean more than just that..."

"Exactly," James said, crossing his arms.

"Guys?" Jade squinted her eyes as she walked out of Kendall's room, "what time is it?" She had on one of Kendall's plaid shirts and no pants, not realizing James was going to be home.

"You look nice," James said, raising his eyebrows with a wink. She shot him a glare and rolled her eyes.

"Sssh!" Kendall ran over to where Jade stood, clapped a hand over her mouth, and pushed her back into his room, "It's a long story, but please stay in here, okay?" He begged.

"What is going on?" She hissed angrily.

"There's... um... Katie just got home! I don't need her asking any questions!" He explained.

Kendall walked back out into the kitchen, where he saw that Logan had come out of the bathroom. He ran up to him.

"Get her out of here," Kendall said through gritted teeth. Logan nodded nervously and went to poke a head into his room.

"Jo?" He whispered, walking all the way in. Jo sat straight up, glaring at him

"You dick," she growled, "you took advantage of me. You KNEW I was drunk. You KNEW I thought you were Kendall. And now look where we are!"

"I was drunk too-" Logan began, putting his hands up as an act of innocence. It was no use. Jo had gone into full on rage, pushing him out of the room, and screaming at him.

"NO! I only gave you a fucking blow job because I thought you were Kendall! I let you finger me! You really think I'd let YOU do that?" she screamed.

Kendall and James stood behind the kitchen island, watching in disbelief.

"That does not sound like Katie," Jade said, walking out of Kendall's room. She crossed her arms over her chest with her typical bitchy grimace.

"Kendall," Jo said, changing her attention, "what is SHE doing here?"

"What is SHE doing here?" Jade asked him. Both girls looked absolutely pissed.

"You weren't with HER while I was sleeping, were you?" Jade asked.

"NO!" Kendall protested, "She was with Logan!"

"And you were with her?" Jo asked, pointing an accusing finger at Jade.

James reached under the counter and pulled out a container of popcorn, eating it happily. He wondered how his buddy was gonna get out of this one. If he could only find a camera, there might be a girl fight...

"I, well, um, Jo, you cheated on me!" He then turned to Jade and said, "And I didn't even know she was HERE!"

"I didn't even know I was cheating on you!" Jo replied, getting the attention back on her, "It was all your douchebag friend over here!" she pointed at Logan, who shrugged.

"As James says, a blowjob is a blowjob." He had a wicked hangover and really didn't feel like dealing with this, and he knew Kendall was cool with it and Jo was way past pissed at him, so he figured he might as well get in a smart comment.

James approved of this, he ran over and gave Logan a high five.

"What about you?" Jade asked suspiciously, pointing at James, who had brought attention to himself with the high five, "Where were you last night?"

James shook his head and put his hands up, "I kept my hands clean. I'm staying out of this."

"Yeah, right," Kendall scoffed.

"So, Kendall," Jo said coldly, "did you sleep with Jade last night?"

"Well, I mean, no, yeah, sorta, maybe, technically, kinda-"

"Yeah. He did. I fucked your boyfriend and I rocked his world. Are you happy, bitch? So if you ever get with him again, and he screams my name instead of yours, you'll know why," Jade finished for him.

"Well guess what, whore," Jo said coldly, "I'm gonna go tell everybody now. First, your boyfriend. Maybe I'll even sleep with him, to get back at you."

"Whoah," James said, intercepting her on her way to the door, "are you sure you wanna go just yet?" He was pretty sure Beck wasn't fully... recovered yet.

"James, just let me go," she said, trying to get around him, to no avail.

"Just hear me out," he said. He leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"You know what would be worse? If you told Gustavo," he whispered in a convincing voice, almost like he was dirty talking her. It was really more like evil talking. Still, he got her attention.

"Maybe I will," she said pointedly at Kendall, then turned and left.

"Oh thank goodness," James slouched against the door once she was gone, leaving only him, Logan, Kendall, and Jade.

"Thanks," Jade said bitterly. For some reason she thought James had just saved her ass, not his own.

He nodded, a tired expression on his face. Kendall grabbed her wrist as she turned to leave, "Hey, I'm pretty sure I just got dumped... If you wanna seal the deal with Beck..."

She just glared at him and rolled her eyes before leaving.

As soon as she was gone, James made sure to text Beck to get cleaned up, just in case. The three collapsed onto the couch. They really hadn't quite dodged a bullet that morning, but they managed to get it not to hit them head-on.

_**~*~*Paaage break! Then author's note!*~*~**_

**A/N: So, whataya think? Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi! Here's another chapter! This one will be about Beck to start, then the next scene will be Carlos/Cat. Get to reading.**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I know, I don't own it. DEAL WITH IT.**

_***~*~First page break of the chapter!~*~***_

Beck rolled over on his bed when he heard his phone vibrate. James. He smirked and opened the text. It said to get up and get cleaned up. He shrugged, wondering why. Maybe Jade was gonna come over, and someone told James.

Beck stood up and ran a hand loosely through his hair. He went to take a shower, and then he'd clean up the rest of the trailer.

After showering, he got dressed and got ready to tackle the trailer. It really wasn't too messy but, well, it smelled like sex. They didn't even really have sex, but it smelled like it. He started to clean up, but then, seconds later, a car pulled into the driveway. He recognized it instantly as Jade's. Beck dropped the jeans he was moving off the floor and scrambled to find the random can of air freshener that was always lying around for some reason. He knew there was a reason he had that.

Jade opened the door to the trailer, she looked tired, like she'd barely slept.

"Hi," she said, sounding a little awkward. She wondered how she should do this. They'd dated for two years, she couldn't just dump him for no reason. But then again, if she told him why, he'd get mad. Of course, he was bound to find out anyways.

"What's up?" He asked, trying to sound casual. It was tough when the only thing he was thinking was hoping that he didn't still smell like James's cologne. It had been a really quick shower.

"New cologne?" Jade asked, leaning in and sniffing him.

"Yeah," he said calmly.

"It's vaguely familiar..." Jade told him, looking thooughtful.

"I think it smells a little like the cologne that guy we were behind at the mall was wearing," he lied, remembering how Jade had yelled at this one guy for wearing way too much cologne. He'd had to apologize for her three times that day. Maybe that wasn't the best idea to suggest.

"No," she shook her head, "it's something else." She shrugged. "And is this a new shirt?" she asked, pointing at where James's shirt was lying on the ground. He'd left without it the night before, winking and telling Beck to keep it. "It looks a little big for you," she commented.

"Yeah, well it fits better than it looks like it would," he explained casually, rubbing the back of his head casually with a yawn.

Jade rolled her eyes, clearly loking like she didn't care anymore. They had bigger things to talk about.

"So, what's up?" Beck asked.

"I need to tell you som-" Jade paused, sniffing the air past Beck. "Beck?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you have so much air freshener in here?"

"I just- I wanted to freshen it up."

She sniffed again, "Are you sure it's not to cover some other smell?"

Beck's eyes widened, "Nope?"

"Really?" Jade said flatly, with a grimace.

"Yup."

"Because it smells," she said in a hostile voice, moving closer to him, "like sex."

Beck gulped, knowing she was right, "I well, um."

"What's her name?" Jade asked accusingly.

"What did you need to tell me?" Beck shot back.

"I- we were on you, right?" Jade said.

"We already established that I was with someone else last night," Beck said simply, moving even closer, "Now what were you going to tell me?"

Jade took a deep breath, "I think we should break up."

"Why?"

"You fucked someone else!"

"We didn't fuck. It was just a blowjob," he didn't include that it was multiple, actually, and that he was the one giving them, instead of recieving.

"Whatever," Jade said, "we're still done."

"But that isn't even the reason you wanted to break up with me in the first place. What's your real reason?"

"There's someone else, ok?" she said coldly.

"What's his name?" Beck asked harshly. He took another step closer so their faces were centimeters apart. Pressure's on.

"You tell me yours first."

"No," Beck said, "you first."

There was a silence for a second. After that second, Beck was suddenly attacking Jade's mouth, shoving his toungue deep into her throat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he put a hand on her ass and another in her hair. Jade hiked one leg up around Beck's hips, and he picked her up and dragged her over to the bed, still kissing fervently.

Beck hungrily began peeling her clothes off, and Jade reached up to take off his pants. She grabbed his thick black hair and pulled him down to her. He kissed her harshly, biting her lip a little. He then moved down and kissed along her jawline. She reached over and pulled his boxers off, and grabbed his dick. He was already plenty hard.

Beck pulled his shirt off over his head and then grabbed Jade's, unhooking her bra and tossing it to the floor. He grabbed her boobs and she ran a hand down his abs.

They both went and fumbled for a condom, and quickly found one on the floor by the bed.

"I'm still pissed at you," Jade breathed in between moans.

"Me too," Beck growled as he thrust.

"Oh, damn, I fucking love you so much!" Jade screamed.

"You too," Beck moaned.

"Harder!," she screamed.

"Yes!" Beck yelled back.

He fell back onto the bed next to her when they were done and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Are we still broken up?" he asked.

"I don't think so," she told him, "just don't tell Kendall."

"Kendall?" Beck's eyebrows shot up. He was way hotter than Kendall! That much had already been determined.

Jade bit her lip, "Secret's out," she said with a shrug.

_**~*~*black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow (sorry I know lotsa people hate that song but im jammin to it rn so it's my page break)*~*~**_

Tori heard a knock on the door. She put her soda down and went to go answer it.

She opened the door to see Cat. There were huge black smudges of mascara under her eyes and her hair was all messed up. Her eyes were puffy and red and she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"What's wrong?" Tori asked as she closed the door behind Cat.

Cat opened her mouth to talk, and just burst out in tears.

"I- it- I just-" more tears fell from her eyes.

"What is it?"

"I'm late!" she screamed, sobbing. She rubbed her eyes.

"Late?" Tori said quizically.

_"Late,"_ Cat said.

"Oh," Tori's eyes went wide. "Did you use protection?'

Cat shook her head.

"And it was what, two weeks ago?"

Cat nodded.

"How late are you?'

Cat sniffled, "Five days," she buried her face in a pillow.

Tori took a deep breath, "That doesn't neccesarily mean you're pregnant. Relax. Do you want me call Carlos?"

Cat nodded shakily.

_***~*~Back to my boys!~*~***_

"Hey," James said, picking up Carlos's phone. Carlos was in the shower.

"Um, hi James," Tori said, "is Carlos there?'

"He's in the shower. What's up?"

"Um," Tori began. She should probably tell this to Carlos, but James was way closer to him, it might be better for him to do it...

"Can you tell Carlos something for me?"

"Sure," James said, putting his feet up on the table, "Hey, you wanna come over later? No one's gonna be home..."

"James. I'm not coming over just to sleep with you."

"You know, I really don't think this is working out. We're looking for different things."

"Are you dumping me?"

"Well we were never really together..."

Tori rolled her eyes. They'd all been right. Typical manwhore. She looked over into the living room and saw Cat crying, remembering why she'd called.

"Whatever," she said angrily, "I do actually have something important to say."

"Shoot," James said.

"Cat- missed her period."

James dropped the phone.

"James?" Tori said, "Jaaames?"

He picked the phone up again, "Holy fucking shit she can't have a kid her and Carlos's kid would never shut up it'd be so fucking annoying I'd never get any sleep and I wouldnt be pretty any more and I can't even it has to live at Cat's house well it has to because it can't suck on her boobs if it doesn't well that's actualy kind of a hot thought but this is-"

"JAMES!" Tori screamed, interrupting him.

"What's a hot thought?" Carlos asked, coming out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

"Put some clothes on before you hear this," James squeaked. He didn't need Carlos dropping his towel by accident or anything.

Carlos shrugged and went an threw on some shorts and a t-shirt.

"What is it?" Carlos asked.

James could hear Tori talking to Cat on the other end.

"Um, Carlos, Cat, she, missed her period."

Carlos's eyes widened, "Does that mean she's pregnant?"

"Not neccesarily," James said, trying to say this strategically, "just-"

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A DAD!" Carlos screamed.

"Carlos, just listen for-"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO?" Carlos said. He looked terrified.

Logan walked out of his room and ran a hand through his hair, "What is going on?"

"CAT'S PREGNANT!" Carlos yelled.

"No, she's not, not neccesarily," James said, trying to make Carlos shut up. A corndog would've been useful. He slapped a hand over Carlos's mouth, struggling to hold him back, "She just missed her period. We're not sure about anything," James told Logan. "Fuck! He bit my hand!"

"Logie what are we gonna do?" Carlos yelled.

"Carlos, calm down. Girls our age miss their periods all the time. It's normal. She isn't neccesarily pregnant."

"Who's pregnant?" Kendall asked, as he walked in, raising his eyebrows.

"Cat!" Carlos yelled.

"Guys?" came from Carlos's phone, "I'm still here."

"Hey," James said, picking it up. "We'll call back in just a minute."

_**~*~*We are now at the pharmacy!*~*~**_

"Alright, we're here," Beck announced. He had driven himself, Jade, Carlos, Cat, Kendall, Logan, Tori, and James to go get the pregnancy test. It was a good thing they had the van. Apparently everybody needed to be there. Moral support.

They ran to the aisle where the pregnancy tests were. Kendall, Logan, Beck, and James stood in a semicircle around Jade, Carlos, Cat, and Tori, who filled the basket with a few different brands of test.

"Clear?" Carlos squeaked. He was horribly embarrassed to be doing this. He was holding the basket, looking like he was about to cry.

"Do you want me to hold that for you, buddy?" James asked.

Carlos nodded and handed James the basket. They were almost to the check out, when the four guys suddenly stopped and screamed.

Gustavo had just walked into the store. And he saw them. Probably because they screamed, but that was beside the point.

He looked confused as to why they were so freaked out, so he went over to see what the dogs, one random dude, and assorted girls were up to.

"Gustavo," Kendall said warmly, "what's up?" he curled his lip up and spread his hands, trying to make it casual, but he just made it all the more obvious something was up. James grinned and stepped behind Logan, so Gustavo wouldn't see what he had.

Gustavo, confused, looked over Logan's shoulder to see what James had. His eyes widened when he saw the pregnancy tests.

He took a deep breath, knowing they were in public. "I. Am going. To kill you," he breathed, looking a little crazed.

James shrieked and dropped the basket, scattering the pregnancy tests everywhere. "It wasn't me!"

"Then who was it?" Gustavo asked, "Kendall?"

Carlos's eyes widened and his face turned red.

"YOU?" Gustavo said in shock.

"DON'T kill him yet," Logan said, "we don't know yet, okay? Also, this is incredibly awkward.

"You guys are SO getting a lecture later. From Kelly of course; this IS awkward," Gustavo told them angrily, walking away. Cat and Tori went to pick up the pregnancy tests.

"Let's do this," James said, taking the basket and walking towards the checkout.

_***~*~A/N time!~*~***_

**A/N: What did you think? Did you enjoy the cliffhanger? MUAHAHAHA. Thanks to my reviewers! You guys are just THE BESTEST.**

**Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Sorry to keep you guys waiting!**

**And to all my reviewers, you guys are THE BESTEST. Thanks bunches.**

_***~*~Page breakin' this place up~*~***_

"Could she take any LONGER?" Carlos said, covering his face and then leaning his head against the wall.

"Carlos, chill," Kendall told him, putting a hand on his shoulder, "it won't be much longer now."

"They're negative!" Cat yelled in glee as she ran out of the bathroom, "I did four and they're all NEGATIVE!"

Carlos grinned and grabbed her around the waist. He picked her up and spun her around, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Wait," Logan said, "how did you even generate enough pee for four pregnancy tests?"

"I drank two gallons of orange juice," Cat said simply, with a shrug, as if it was something everyone did daily.

"Hooray for beauty sleep!" James cheered. He ran into his and Kendall's room and came back with a bottle of champagne, opening it and grabbing a bunch of plastic cups. "And hooray for drinking! Which Cat can definitely do because she's NOT pregnant!" He poured the champagne and passed it out to everybody.

"Where do you get things?" Kendall asked as he took a cup, examining it. James ALWAYS had the alcohol, the condoms, you name it.

James shrugged, "What's important is that now, we party. And we drink."

"Dude, it's 11 am," Carlos told him.

"Good morning," James said, holding out a cup for Carlos, "you're not a dad."

When he said this, Carlos grinned and picked Cat up. She hooked her legs around his hips and he grabbed her head, digging his tongue deep into her mouth. Carlos tangled his hands into her hair and they kept making out, stumbling to the couch.

"Damn," Logan observed, "since when is Carlos so... not innocent?"

"Since he lost his virginity," James whispered, pointing.

"Cat! She's so... grown up!" Tori said, having a hard time realizing that Cat wasn't a virgin anymore either.

"You could lose that innocence too," James told her with a wink. Tori slapped his arm, to which James just shrugged. Kendall laughed.

Andre and Robbie suddenly burst through the door.

"We heard what was going on," Andre said, "Well?"

"Damn," Robbie added, "they really aren't innocent anymore, are they?"

Andre also looked to the couch, where Carlos and Cat still lay, making out.

"GUYS," Logan said just as Carlos began to put his hands down Cat's pants, "boundaries."

"Right," Carlos said, pulling away. He took Cat's hand and went over to join the others.

"This is UNBELIVABLE," James ranted, "CARLOS is doing better than ME! I need to get with someone soon or I just might die."

The others rolled their eyes, and nobody seemed to notice Beck turning red.

_**~*~*Shout out to Living Life and Loving It: Feel better now?*~*~**_

Everyone was filing out of the apartment, ready to leave. Tori was supposed to go shopping with Trina, Andre had music to work on, Robbie had to go... do something with his puppet, James, Logan, and Beck were going to go hang out, Carlos and Cat were going out for ice cream (of course, James slipped Carlos a condom and winked, so it may have been more than ice cream), and Jade was going home.

"Hey," Kendall said, touching her arm lightly as she was the last one to leave. She gave him a flat and disapproving look, and turned to leave again, when he grabbed her wrist.

"Why don't you stay here with me?" he pulled her close to his face.

Jade bit her lip. She really wanted to, but things weren't completely clear with Beck...

"Come on," Kendall said with a raise of his eyebrows. Everyone else was long gone, and he casually pushed the door closed.

"I don't know," she said, "I mean, I just..."

Kendall pushed her up against the wall, leaning his body close to hers. "Don't pretend you don't want me, baby," he whispered.

She grabbed the hem of his shirt, holding on to it tightly. She thought of that night with Kendall, and then the next day with Beck, and the week before with Beck, and the past two years with Beck...

Kendall wiggled his hips and put a hand on the small of her back to pull her closer, "What are you waiting for?" he whispered. She could feel his lips moving, pressed up against her ear as he talked to her.

Then, Jade remembered what else she'd found out about Beck. That he'd been with someone else.

She wrapped her arms around Kendall's neck.

"I have no idea."

_***~*~Hmm I don't know how I like this chapter so far...~*~***_

"So, where are we going?" Beck asked casually as he hopped into the backseat. James was driving and Logan had shotgun. He was pretty sure James wasn't legal to drive other people, especially not out of Minnesota, but Logan seemed to have given up on stopping him awhile ago.

"No clue," James told him, "but we're going." He started the car and pulled out of the Palm Woods, windows down. The truth was, his game plan was to get as much information out of Beck as possible right then, so he could figure out where Kendall stood on Mission Jade and the whole morals and ethics thing. And having Logan there was a plus, so he'd hear everything first hand and be able to analyze shit easier.

"So, what's the story with you and Jade?" James asked, peeking at Beck in the rear view mirror.

"I- I'm not sure, to be honest," Beck said. He knew he didn't have to worry about James knowing they were still sort of together-ish, since James seemed to have no idea what "exclusive" even meant. He seemed like the type of guy who would fuck anyone.

"Well, tell us the story," Logan said in a friendly voice, turning to look at him.

"Okay, well, Jade came over, and she wanted to talk. But before she did, she smelled sex, and that my cologne was different, and another shirt, and, wait... do you... know?" Beck stopped, looking at Logan quizzically. Logan looked equally confused.

"I went over to Beck's trailer that night and weeeell," James told him, "you know me. And my undeniable sex appeal. One thing led to another."

Beck just nodded slowly, and Logan's eyes widened. He realized what James meant by "keeping Beck occupied." He had meant it _literally._

"Continue," Logan said in a high squeaky voice. He cleared his throat and said it again, this time more like a normal guy.

"Well, she figured out I'd been with someone else- and no, she didn't know it was James, or even a guy," Beck told him, "so she went to break up with me. She told me there was someone else and we got into this argument and- then we had sex."

Logan's eyebrows shot up in surprise and James gripped the steering wheel tighter. That was NOT part of the plan.

"Then what happened?" James asked in as calm of a voice as he could.

"She said-" he stopped, realizing he'd probably said too much already.

"Yes?" Logan prompted him with a friendly half-smile. Just then, they pulled into the parking lot of a diner and got a table. The inside was decorated in the kind of cheesy fifties style that was really just god-awful, but somehow incredibly comfortable. As soon as they were seated, James next to Beck and Logan across from them, they returned to the story.

"So, what did she say?" Logan asked.

"I really..."

"Oh come on, we won't tell," James said with a flick of his hair. His hand, under the table, crept up and traced circles on Beck's leg as he said it.

Beck gulped, "Well, she said- she said not to tell Kendall, because apparently he was the 'other guy.' But I just don't get it; are they even together? And I mean I know you guys are buddies with him and all-"

"Hey," Logan told him, "it's cool. We never really know what's going on in Kendall's head."

"Yeah," James agreed, flashing a winning grin at Logan. Of course, this was a flat out lie; Kendall told them everything. But Beck bought it easily. With a combination of James's looks and Logan's brain, they knew all they needed. The dream team.

Logan, of course, went to the bathroom to text Kendall that he wasn't the only one Jade was sleeping with.

_**~*~*Kendall and Jade! Take it away!*~*~**_

Kendall pulled Jade's pants off as quickly as he could. He knew the other guys would be pissed at him for having sex on the couch, which was like number one on The List of Things You Just Don't Do in 2J, but he didn't care.

Of course, the moment got ruined when his phone vibrated. Kendall groaned and opened the text from Logan. His eyes bugged out.

"What is it?" Jade asked.

"Well," Kendall said accusingly, "according to this text, you slept with Beck AFTER me. Is that true?"

Jade scowled, wondering how they'd found out. She'd ask Beck about it later. Still, she shrugged, not phased, "It's not like you're the best boyfriend ever, what with Jo and all. How would I know you won't do the same to me?"

"But why would you sleep with HIM again. I mean, you do know he was with someone else, right?"

"I know that!" Jade snapped, crossing her arms. She was still sitting on Kendall's lap as they had this argument.

"All I'm saying is, why would you have sex with a guy who'd just had James's dick in his mouth all night when you could have ME in your pussy?"

"Excuse me?" she said, eyebrows raised.

Kendall's green eyes widened as soon as he realized what he'd just said.

_***~*~Author's note!~*~***_

**A/N: So, yeah, that was that. I don't know how much I like this one. I literally had no idea what I was going to do after that first scene, I just started typing and decided to see what came of it. Review?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey! Sorry this has taken so long! I've had tons of work and now... Well I really don't know what I'm doing. Like I have zero plan other than, literally, the first line.**

_***~*~Hehey Let's see how this goes!~*~***_

"What did you just say?" Jade asked angrily, looking absolutely shocked. "Could you repeat yourself?"

"I-" Kendall sat there with his moth hanging open, not exactly sure what to do.

Jade crossed her arms and set her jaw, "Well?"

"I was pissed that you cheated on me."

"Please," Jade placed a finger on his chest, "barely. If I remember correctly, we only got together_ by _cheating, and I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing fooling around with you, when I had so much better."

"So much better?" Kendall exclaimed, "What the fuck? Did you not hear- You know what? Yeah. Sure. Okay."

"No no," Jade said, "let's go back to what I heard. What was this about Beck and James?"

"Well, what, I mean, it was a slip of the toungue so..."

"No, no, you said that BECK was giving JAMES BLOW JOBS all that night. So, do you care to explain?"

Just then, the door opened and James walked in, followed by Logan and Beck. Jade's eyes flashed when she saw them, and, on instinct, she hopped up off of Kendall's lap, ran over to James, and kicked him in the balls. Hard.

"Shit!" James cried, falling to the floor.

"Down, girl. Babe, I think you get a time out," Beck said to her, placing an arm around her shoulders. He knew he could be crossing some lines with Kendall sitting right there, since apparently they were "broken up," but he didn't care. After two years of calming Jade down, he'd gotten pretty used to it.

"Oh, fuck you," Jade said, giving Beck the same treatment.

Jade cast her angry glare at Logan, whose eyes widened in fear.

"Were you in on this?" Jade asked suspiciously, pointing a finger at him.

"Whoah," Logan said, putting his hands up, "I had nothing to do with... that."

Jade just rolled her eyes and shoved him on her way out.

"Uhhhh," James groaned, "she kicks hard."

Beck nodded, "I usually try not to do anything wrong."

"Hey, guys," Kendall said awkwardly from the couch. Barely a minute after walking into the apartment for what seemed to be a pretty normal day, Beck and James had just walked in on Jade sitting on Kendall's lap, yelling at him, and been kicked in the balls for no apparent reason. They were gonna want some explanation.

"What," James winced, "did you say to her?"

"Umm..." Kendall gave Logan a questioning look. He was pretty sure they'd never told Logan about the whole Beck and James situation.

"I know about... This," Logan pointed between the two boys lying on the ground.

"Okay," Kendall said, "Well, when James texted me that... I mean I... I sort of said," it was hard to tell a story when he had no idea who knew what part of the story.

"Pretty much," he decided to say, pretending all he wanted to do was make a long story short, "I let it slip that Beck and James... Yeah."

"You KNEW?" Beck said, confused.

Kendall winced a little. THERE was a part of the story that Beck was definitely NOT updated on. That the reason James and Beck even got together that night was so Kendall could get in Beck's girlfriend's pants.

"Ummm... James tells me everything," He shrugged, "but don't worry, Carlos doesn't know."

James slowly stood up, "So..." he winced again, "Now, she knows... and she is going to go tell the whole world. Fan-fucking-tastic."

Beck's eyes widened, "Shit," he said, "Jade is devious. I know exactly where she'll head first."

"Where?" The other three asked.

"Rocque Records."

Their eyes widened and they all jumped up and ran out the door. Well, Kendall and Logan did. James and Beck more waddled.

Carlos and Cat gave them strange looks as they saw the four leaving in a hurry, or as fast as they could hurry. They shrugged.

"Now the apartment's empty," Carlos whispered.

_**~*~*This next part may get me some pissed reviewers, i don't know.*~*~**_

"Mmm, Carlos now," Cat moaned as Carlos pushed his hands up under her shirt. They'd been going at the foreplay for awhile now, and now Cat was sitting on the counter with her legs wrapped around Carlos's hips.

"I know, baby," Carlos whispered, biting at the edge of her ear. He moved down and sucked on the skin of her jawbone and her neck. He looked up at her, his dark eyes intense and lusty, "Let's go to my room."

Cat put her arms around Carlos's neck, ready to be carried off, when the door burst open. Carlos's face fell when Logan walked through.

"Hey Logan," Carlos said, his voice squeaking high. He was really not happy to see him. He had a boner and he wanted to get his very much not pregnant girlfriend to bed FAST.

"Hey," Logan said, easily pushing past them, oblivious to the couple's postition. Cock block.

"So, where is everyone?" Carlos asked, trying to sound calm. Cat was tracing a finger aimlessly down his arm, and Carlos bit his lip. He wasn't sure she knew what she was doing to him.

"Well, James is out 'making sure his reputation is still clean,' which I don't get, because come on, his reputation is shit anyways. But Beck and Kendall are both talking to Jade or something."

"Wait, what happened to James's reputation?" Cat asked innocently, hopping down from the counter. It was clear Logan wasn't going anywhere.

"He-" Logan paused, and then began to tell the story.

_***~*~Sorry for cutting that off hehe... Different location, shall we?~*~***_

"So Jade," Kendall growled into her ear, "we can't have you going around telling people shit, can we?"

Jade shook her head, mumbling something. The guys had tied her up to a chair and duck taped her mouth. Beck had been arguing that she would be good and sit still, but she told him to fuck off and called him a pussy. Rope and tape it was.

Beck put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in close, "We really cannot have that, ol' chap," he said in his overexagerrated British accent.

"Especially," Kendall continued, "not Gustavo."

Jade mumbled something else and squirmed.

"I know you're pissed and freaked out," Beck said in a more serious voice, "but you gotta try to understand. I just, I... Well... Yeah."

"Now that we have that covered," Kendall told her, his green eyes intense, "we have one other thing you need to do."

Jade looked at him, a little confused.

"You," Beck put a finger on her chin and tipped it up towards him a little, "have to choose."

"Between us," Kendall added. Jade kept turning her head left and right between the two as they spoke from either side of her.

"One," Beck said calmly, pulling Jade's attention back to him.

"Or the other," Kendall told her. He squeezed her knee and pulled her hair back from her shoulder.

Beck leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Who will it be?" She shivered, feeling his toungue against her ear a little bit.

"Tell us, Jade," Kendall growled. He kissed her neck on his side. Jade squirmed. She felt like she was in a rape threesome.

"What is going on?" came a voice from the door. Kelly was standing in the doorway, one hand on her hip. She looked really... confused. And a little pissed.

"I... Kelly, what are you doing here?" Kendall asked.

"I work here," she told him, "And I came to grab an extra mic stand, since Carlos broke his last week. Now what is going on? Actually- you know what? Take the tape off of that girl's mouth."

Kendall's eyes widened, and Beck shot him a panicked look.

"Yeah... Okay," Kendall said, gently pulling the tape off of Jade's mouth.

"Untie me, you little fucks," Jade said in a very angry voice.

Kendall and Beck obeyed quickly.

"So," Kelly said, "who wants to tell me what's going on?"

Jade's hand shot up, an evil smirk on her lips.

"Alright, go," Kelly said. The mic stand was clearly forgotten.

"Well," Jade stood up, followed by Beck and Kendall, who both looked like they were about to piss themselves.

"Believe me," Kelly told her when she paused, "you can tell me anything. I already had to give them one sex lecture."

Jade shrugged, "Well, this guy," she pointed at Beck, "WAS my boyfriend, but he gave JAMES a blow job."

"YOU slept with Kendall!" Beck exclaimed, not letting her forget. Kelly already looked pretty shocked.

"Still," Jade said flatly, as if the word explained everything.

"Anyways," she continued, "then I hooked up with each of them for a little, but then I found out about Beck and James, and Kendall found out I hadn't totally broken up with Beck, and then I came here to tell Gustavo about Beck and James. Then they, with the help of James, tied me to a chair while Logan kept watch. James and Logan left and Beck and Kendall practically raped me to get me to choose between them. And here we are," she said plainly, as if she was telling Kelly that she'd just taken her dog for a walk.

Kelly just nodded, looking confused, "Okay. You can just... Okay." She turned to Kendall. "Do NOT tie her up again. You guys can solve the rest for yourselves." She turned, grabbed a mic stand, and left.

"I'm outta here," Jade declared. She turned and walked out of the small supply closet, leaving Kendall and Beck confused.

"You know," Kendall said, "we really should hate each other more."

"That_ would _be normal," Beck agreed.

_**~*~*So... yeah*~*~**_

**A/N: So, what did you think? I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I really don't know. I felt like I wasn't gettng anywhere until Kelly walked in. I just decided to do that now. That last part was written in literally under ten minutes. So... just review. Please?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **_**Here I am, once again**_

_**Feelin bad but now and then**_

_**I update the story**_

_**and get it written**_

_**and you don't know**_

_**where you are now**_

_**or if your readers hate you**_

_**if only you weren't so lazy**_

_**you figure out how**_

_**update the story**_

_**or dissappeaaarrrr**_

_**YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO PUT YOUR DREAM ON FFNET**_

_**YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA FADE**_

_**SINCE YOU DIDN'T UPDATE**_

_**JUST A FANTASY**_

_**BUT REMEMBER ME**_

_**AND DON'T KILL ME READERS**_

_**CUZ YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOU LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION**_

_**TOMORROW YOU'LL HAVE A STORY TO POST**_

_**IN MY CROSSOVER**_

_**WHICH IS SUPER LATE**_

_**I APOLOGIZE LIKE FUCK**_

_**FFUUUUUUCCCCKKKK**_

**That waste of space right there was my version of Make It Shine. It's called Apologize Like Fuck. Sorry for being so slow to update!**

_***~*~Ok now I'll actually update this lol~*~***_

Jade looked nervous. Really nervous. She was sitting in the middle of the orange couch, along with James, Logan, Carlos, Tori, Cat, Trina, Andre, Robbie, Beck, and Kendall.

"Well?" Tori asked. She was a firm believer in one guy at a time.

There was a silence as Jade looked around the room, at her feet, at the ceiling, anywhere but at the two guys waiting on her answer. She barely knew what to say, or how to say it.

"Kendall," Jade finally said, breaking the silence that had seemed to go on forever.

"Yes!" Kendall jumped up and did a little happy dance.

"Look Beck," she said, "I know we dated for a long time, but all good things... end. And you were getting too dad-like-"

"I'm more fun!" Kendall sneered, cutting her off.

Jade threw a pillow at him and continued, smirking, "also, I know you'd be way happier making out with James than me."

"Well NOW everybody knows," James said, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. Of course, it's not like he really cared what people thought, especially people who did not belong to the group of Girls He Could Have Sex With or Powerful People Who Could Make Him Famous.

Jade rolled her eyes at him and Beck just nodded. He kind of figured that he'd get dumped. He had made out with James and given him several blow jobs.

"Fair enough," Beck said. Andre and Robbie looked pretty shocked to hear about this, but they kept their mouths shut.

"You know I do mainly just like girls, right?" James said to Beck, clarifying.

"I also know you think I'm hot," Beck replied, running a hand through his hair.

"Touche," James replied.

_**~*~*Last scene since I said this would be Carlos/Cat*~*~**_

"It actually all turned out ok," Carlos saidin amazement. He was sitting on the orange couch with Cat, their legs intertwined. There was a horror movie playing. Well, there would be. Once they pressed play. Which they would do. Eventually. No, soon. Very soon.

They were both pretty nervous about watching it.

Cat gulped and grabbed Carlos's hand. Carlos held his breath and reluctantly pressed play.

The movie was not very scary at all by horror movie standards. By Carlos and Cat standards, however, it was fucking terrifying.

"Carlos, where is he?" Cat whispered from her spot in Carlos's lap, where she had jumped last time she got scared. Carlos grinned. James was so right that horror movies were the best kind of movie to watch with girls.

Before he could reply, or get a full minute to enjoy their current position, the killer jumped out from behind a truck and attacked a random lady. Both Carlos and Cat shrieked loudly, wrapping their arms around eachother.

"Is it gone?" Carlos asked quietly, not daring to look up.

"I don't know," Cat replied, "I don't wanna look."

After a moment of waiting, they decided the coast was clear to look back at the TV and shut it off.

"What do you want to do now?" Cat asked quietly.

"I don't know," Carlos replied, "Let's go to my room."

The couple lay on the bed for awhile, staring at the ceiling.

"We should do something more fun," Cat decided with a wink.

"And what woud be more fun?" Carlos asked, turning his head to face her and raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh I don't know," Cat replied, tracing a finger down his arm. She moved closer to him and pressed her mouth up against his ear.

"I'm sure you can figure something out," she whispered.

Carlos grinned, climbing on top of her. He gave her a deep kiss and let his mouth make its way down her neck, leaving several hickeys on her collarbone.

"Is this more fun?" Carlos asked when he pulled away.

"Definitely," Cat replied, reaching her arms up and around Carlos's neck. She pulled him down closer to her and kissed him, letting his hands wander up and under her shirt.

Carlos slowly peeled the shirt off of her, tossing it to the ground. He kissed down her chest while Cat went to pull off Carlos's jeans. He kicked them off and took off his shirt. Cat took off her shorts and let Carlos's hands roam down to her thong. He pulled it back and snapped it, making Cat giggle.

"Carlos," she said, "you can go under it, you know," she pecked him on the lips and Carlos smiled. He reached back around her and unhooked her pink lacy bra, throwing that to the side too. Carlos grabbed at her boobs and trailed his hands down her sides another time. They traced the top of her thong and his quick little fingers poked under it occasionally.

Cat felt Carlos's abs and pulled her hands down to his boxers. She put her hands in them and felt around underneath, pumping his dick lightly.

"Uuggh, Cat, you tease," Carlos moaned.

"What's that?" Cat asked, pulling her hands out of his boxers.

"More," Carlos groaned. He angled his hips down, rocking them against Cat's. Cat picked up the pace, begging to grind against him harshly. Carlos leaned into it more and more, grinding harder as he did.

"Let's lose this," Carlos breathed, pulling Cat's thong off to the best of his ability.

"And these," Cat agreed, taking off Carlos's boxers.

They continued rocking together as they had before, until Carlos decided it was high time.

"Now?" Carlos asked eagerly.

"Now," Cat replied, nodding. She reached into the top nightstand drawer and handed Carlos a condom. He slid it on and went back to work, pushing part way into her, then pulling out. Carlos continued this way for awhile, going a little deeper with each thrust.

"Carlos, harder!" Cat screamed.

Carlos picked up the pace, pleasing Cat as he did so. The deeper he went, the louder she screamed.

"Cat, I- Im gonna!" Carlos screamed as he released, not able to finish his thought. Cat moaned at their climax and Carlos kept going for a few more slowed thrusts. He went deep, but gently and much slower than before, until he finally pulled out.

"That was the best," Carlos breathed as he fell back onto the bed next to Cat.

"Definitely," Cat replied.

Just then, the door burst open.

"Hey Carlos, I found this-" James's voice came from the door. He stopped short and took in their current situation, deciding whatever it was could wait.

"I'll tell you later," James said decisively, closing the door behind him.

Carlos and Cat gaped, unable to do or say anything else.

"Well," Carlos said, eyes still locked on the now closed doorway.

"He didn't exactly hurry out," Cat said, blushing as soon as she said it.

"I don't blame him," Carlos growled and gave her a peck on the lips.

_***~*~That's that!~*~***_

**A/N: Hey! So, um, ell me what you thought. I know I got really off-topic and jump-around-y throughout the story, but I guess that comes with spontaneous writing. I figured I might as well finish with the pair I started with.**


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